Grace is when God drives our words, actions and
responses, not the hurt, pre-occupation or irritation one may be
experiencing at the moment.
I recently cut myself off from this grace when I spoke from
a place of hurt to a person I had no business sharing my hurt with. I realized
a week later that I had not kept a “tight rein” on my tongue (James 1:26), and
thus missed God’s call to exhibit grace.
We can wait forever for hurts and slights to heal and go
away, deciding only then to respond as God would have us; or we
can respond as God would have us no
matter what we are feeling.
Going into this season of many-faceted social
gatherings—often involving alcohol—many words will be exchanged, innuendoes let
loose, and misunderstandings birthed. We Christians must remember that the
world without Christ (even though they celebrate the holiday that is His
alone), will not act as a Christian.
So that leaves it up to us, who have been born again in Christ, to live and speak as He would have
us. Which means to respond His way in
all situations, and with all people. In His grace people cannot turn us into
doormats; instead we become welcome mats to Him
by His grace in us.
His grace replaces the frustration we feel toward others with His compassion, and our perspective with His perspective.
All the affirmation and love we’ve sought or thought we
needed from certain other people is supplied by the Triune God of our Father,
Son and Holy Spirit. That frees us from all offense, real or imagined. And it frees us to love others in God's power, not ours. Now that is living in joy!
In the knowledge of the marvelous truth of His acceptance of
us as His children, we can confidently go forth into a crowded room of people.
Already filled to the brim with God-sourced love, we have no space left—nor do
we make way for—insults, slights, political and ideological differences, past
histories, and future—often unrealistic—hopes for relationships.
Instead, schooled by God, we choose to acknowledge, in the
midst of other people, that much of what is said in conversations can be taken
or heard out of context, spoken without thinking, or is derived from a place of
another person’s deep pain and anger.
We do well to admit that what we often hear is not
what the other person said or meant.
And when we do hear
what is actually said, and it is
meant to be mean-spirited, and verbal insults directly or indirectly dished-out
do pierce, we continue to respond or
remain silent in grace (but rightly place graceful
boundaries around all future encounters with this person).
Which means we don’t enable their sin, participate in it or
condone it, whether it is directed at us or someone else. We remain calmly steadfast
in our obedience to God, not man or self, in how we respond and think about it
later.
Christmas seems to be an especially trying time due to its
specificity. We clearly remember Christmases of the past, good and bad, and
what or who made them good and bad.
We might be pining for a person no longer in our life. We
might be dreading the obligation to visit yet again with someone who has managed
to be the fly in the ointment of many past Christmases. We might despise the
artificiality of trying to be a close-knit bunch. We might loathe a corporate
event where most people are just bent on getting drunk.
Whatever it is, grace can overcome. It starts with an
attitude of trust and commitment to God. And as we adopt His way, we find we
actually enjoy ourselves. As we jettison a worldly, self-centered view, we
enter that gathering of people filled only with the good promises and presence
of God in us.
That is enough. That is freedom. That is what makes merry. That
is joy.
“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood
the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised
to those who love him.
When tempted, no one should say, ‘God is tempting me.’ For
God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is
tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then,
after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is
full-grown, gives birth to death.
Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. Every good
and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of heavenly lights,
who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through
the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he
created.
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone
should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because
human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Therefore, get
rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the
word planted in you, which can save you.
Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves.
Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is
like someone who looks at his face in the mirror and, after looking at himself,
goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks
intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not
forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they
do.” James 1:12-25
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