We all encounter situations and people in the course of life
that cause us to be perplexed, vexed, sad, frustrated, hurt, confused and
wondering what, if anything, we can do.
To keep it all inside of us can be counter-productive and
even detrimental to our health. When something is bothering us, it can affect
everyone around us, and interfere with our creativity, work and daily life.
We can, and must, always sit with God and tell him
everything. Yes, He already knows and has observed the situation. But we pour
out our hearts, listen for His wisdom, and pray for everyone involved,
including ourselves.
And then, if that doesn’t bring peace, or if seeking the
Godly counsel of a trusted Christian is what He leads us to, we obey.
The Bible is very clear on not going it alone in times of
trial. We seek God first, and then we seek another person if that is what is
called for.
When I attended Moody Theological Seminary, a professor
there provided the best distinction ever between what constitutes gossip and
what constitutes seeking actual help and comfort from another person.
His guideline is this:
When we go to someone to discuss a problem or concern, we
must ask ourselves if this person is part of the solution.
If the person is not part of the solution, then we have to
look at our motivations as to why we would include them in the sharing of a
delicate matter.
The beauty in this is that it keeps us from gossip and from
going to fifteen different people just to vent and commiserate.
When we select a person—of Christian trust and integrity—who
can actually provide help with a solution, and we sincerely intend to
take steps to solve the problem (not just continue to vent and do nothing about
it), and this person has committed to not repeating our conversation, then we
have not gossiped. We have instead found true fellowship with someone who, like
iron sharpening iron (Proverbs 27:17), will join us in mutual discipleship going
forward.
Finally, we return to God after seeking another’s
counsel and “examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good; abstain
from every form of evil” (1 Thessalonians 5:21).
“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes,
But a wise man is he who listens to counsel.” Proverbs 12:15
“Two are better than one because they have a good return for
their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion.
But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.”
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
“But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who
gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”
James 1:5
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