Many of us will be visiting extended family on Thursday
for the supposed purpose of sharing food and camaraderie in a spirit of
thankfulness.
Sadly, many of us feel only guilt that thankfulness for time
spent with certain individuals never materializes.
And this is usually because every family has a fly in the
ointment. Okay, maybe not every family.
But every family that I
have ever encountered has the irascible relative: the critic, the
mean-spirited gossip, the angry drunkard.
And if not that, then every family has the proverbial
jokester, the political egger-on-er, the braggart, the loud-talking room-dominator,
the coterie of drinkers, and so on.
Sometimes it’s easy to shrug our shoulders and slink away to
a quiet corner.
Sometimes we become disgruntled that nobody—including our self,
is willing to confront the ne’er-do-well.
Other times it’s necessary to
actually don our coats and take our leave from the premises.
Many of us dig in our heels and weather these gatherings—battered
by our apprehension in the days leading up to the festivities, and by our
frustrations in the days following.
A friend--a sister-in-Christ--and I recently talked about
this very thing. She said she had recently read that, instead of focusing on wishing others would change, or how
others need to change, or on God needing
to change them, it is better to focus on
how God can change us.
God can use any situation or person to tone and condition our
patience, long-suffering, compassion and discernment.
Discernment is an attribute I particularly like, finding it
quite helpful in combating inner feelings because it incorporates logic and the
benefit of objective thinking.
I absolutely love the online dictionary’s definition of
discernment:
“(In Christian
contexts) perception in the absence of judgment with a view to obtaining
spiritual direction and understanding.”
That is the opposite of how I have often conducted myself.
In the past it was about my discomfort and my
wants (which I often mistook for needs).
The new way, the Christ-way, is to see everyone from His
perspective and His alone.
When we do that, we will no longer be discomfited when
people who mock Christ act as they do.
We will not despair when the alcohol flows or be surprised
at a dumb joke.
We will be unperturbed at someone’s admission of how they
cheated the boss or Uncle Sam.
We will remain in perfect peace, steadfast in our trust in
Christ, always conscious of the truth that our identity is in Christ, not
the world or group of people in which we find ourselves.
Having an ongoing knowledge of Scripture is crucial in order
to practice discernment, and to be able to abide in Christ with a clear
conscience before God, come what may.
This is how we stop “weathering the storm” of social get-togethers and instead go
forth in Christ’s quiet, humble strength and affirmation.
copyright Barb Harwood
“The LORD is the portion of my inheritance and my cup;
You support my lot.” Psalm 16:5
“You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast,
because he trusts in you.” Isaiah 26:3
“I do not ask You to take them out of the world, but to keep
them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of the
world. Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth. As you sent Me into the
world, I also have sent them into the world. For their sakes I sanctify Myself,
that they themselves also may be sanctified in truth.” John 17:15-19
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