Many of us sabotage—through worrying about other people’s negative perceptions and comments—the joy, maturity and contentment that comes with having done the work that has resulted in our ability to finally grow into our true selves, and be that self.
We subject the positive we have attained to the negative that continues to threaten us.
As this wrestling of who I am versus what others judge or expect me to be comes to a head, the words "authentically assertive" come to mind.
I have come up with a definition that, for me, cuts the umbilical cord to "what-others-may-think" and allows me to remain assuredly in my own lane.
Authentic assertiveness, then, is this:
The attained actual sense, courage, confidence and—especially—grace, to do what is right but in the manner of who I am, formed by personal experience and progress in maturity—and lived out true to the values I have come to hold—even if they differ from or go against “family-think,” culture, or the wider group absolutes of expected behavior and socially constructed and mandated “shoulds.”
And then, of equal importance, letting the chips of other people’s and people-groups’ opinions and criticisms fall where they may.
Copyright Barb Harwood
