Have you ever been in a conversation where things turn a bit personal or political, and opinions fly that border on defensive righteousness, affirmed by the very telling exclamation point of,
“Well, whatever, my conscience is clear!”
Really?
Because everything that precedes these words usually wreak of anger, malcontent, unsupported criticism, envy, sour grapes, self-righteousness, or just sheer bravado because some people simply love to hear themselves talk.
And yet, the person, in the end, claims their conscience is clear!
I chalk, “Well, whatever, my conscience is clear” right up there with, “I’m only human” and, “Nobody’s perfect;” all statements that in the end are a mere shrug of the shoulders to the difficult prospect of actually researching, evaluating, and forming an intellectually and logically supported premise or conclusion.
Note: conscience is not opinion.
We say everybody has a conscience, and we say everybody has an opinion, but the two are very different. That’s because opinion can pose, boast, pretend, bluff, bloviate, conjecture, imagine, and speculate, while conscience is the truth.
So no matter how hard we try to convince ourselves otherwise, our consciences don’t lie.
If we think we are okay in a particular stance towards someone or something, and even pronounce that surety to the world, our conscience, in the quiet of being alone, will take out its needle and pop the bubble of delusion, wishful thinking and/or self-justification. What we do with that burst, “If I think it, it must be so,” is the key.
And that is where God comes in, at least for me.
That’s because humans can lie to themselves all day long. We can convince ourselves of anything, and even find “proof” to back us up. But if that proof doesn’t withstand the sharp spotlight of our conscience, then it isn’t proof—it’s a prop to continue acting in the little dramatic play we’ve scripted for ourselves.
With God, when my conscience is pricked, I attribute it to Him, and thus look to him as to how to clear things up.
Some great lines from Scripture that model this are
"Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me." Psalm 51:10
The feeling of not being true, as revealed by my conscience, is worse than going to God to do the often difficult and unpleasant “what must be done" to arrive at peace and utter contentment regarding whatever it is that’s on my mind.
And since we cannot lie with God, like we can with ourselves and other people (especially subtly), our only recourse is to force ourselves to look objectively at reality (and objectivity is also a gift of God, because He will walk us through each and every illicit or out-of-control emotion, show us how it got there, and how it’s blocking our objectivity. That’s usually enough right there to solve the emotional issue).
God knows everything, and I know I can’t get anything past Him. Nor do I want to, because living with a needling conscience is a constant reminder, like the due-date on a college term paper, that I have something to do. And that something is non-negotiable.
Getting right with God will align with the conscience that was poking us so that it pokes no more. We can get on with life in newness of integrity, thoughtfulness, humility and authenticity, cherishing an absolute sense of truth which accompanies us.
And if living truth within a brutally honest conscience, instead of clutching each moment in falsity and skewed reality, means going against the grain of a thought-group or “leader” that we have enlisted with, so be it.
A clear conscience will progress us; an unclear one will only regress.
This is the peace Jesus gives. Not like the world gives. But as He gives.
copyright Barb Harwood
