If we do not understand repentance, then we cannot admit mistakes and faults to God, and if we cannot admit mistakes and faults to God—in private and from our heart, mind and soul—then how can we ever admit our mistakes and faults to another human being?
St. Mark the Ascetic, a fifth century monk and a father in Eastern Christian Orthodoxy, said,
“He who repents rightly does not imagine that it is his own effort that cancels his former sins, but through this effort he makes his peace with God.”
It works the same way with people: repentance—saying “I’m sorry” and “let’s talk about this” and “my bad” and “I stand corrected”—is about making peace with others. And if that attempt at peace is rejected through the other person being defensive in any way towards our outreach, then we can still repent to ourselves and God, and find peace there.
That is how we can move on from the cloudy and dark aspects of our past, so as not to revisit them in the future, compounding the sin even more.
In the case of anonymous run-ins with strangers, where we may never have the opportunity to make amends or verbalize our sincere apologies, we can still repent to God and ourselves, and in that way clear the way to agreement that that was no way to act, speak, or even think. That is how sin is washed away by God’s mercy of forgiveness to us, and thus, our being able to show mercy and forgiveness to ourselves.
Repenting to God is alway first and foremost (along with accepting his forgiveness), but I believe we must also then repent to ourselves for having let ourselves down by immature or ignorant behavior or attitude (and gift ourselves our own forgiveness right along with God's).
Only then, having reflected enough to have noticed what kind of person we were in that moment, can we make peace with it, learn from it, grow away from it, and move on, forgiven by both ourselves and God.
Copyright Barb Harwood
