Quitting is a Way to Begin

A few years ago, I decided to call it quits on dissension and divisiveness.

I began by unplugging, cold-turkey, the haughty (if not often on-point), talk show host, who ceaselessly conjured anyone of an opposing mindset an enemy. 

Cancelling cable followed, along with the cessation of viewing Network news shows.

I quit striving for significance, spiritual and otherwise, because of its unavoidable tendency to pit me against not only myself and God, but against others through a sense of oneupmanship.

I quit politics and organized religion (note the comment on oneupmanship above). 

I’ve been establishing healthy boundaries that keep chronic critics at a distance, and I no longer subject myself to the spiritually-extroverted peer pressure to be, act and think a certain, and increasingly awkward, way.

The impetus for this quitting was the gradual and very observable realization that most people do not care what I think, because they (like I, too have been and am trying to stop being), are more concerned with what they already think, which prevents them from hearing what anybody else says, no matter how well supported or stated.

So not only am I quitting the compulsion to get my two-cents worth in, I’m hoping, with every good intention, to just be quiet and hear. 

Jesus said to let our yes be yes and our no be no. This advice has served me well in the jettisoning of the toxic elements of life.

“Yes” to the conversations elicited in mutual respect of varying viewpoints and individual personhood—“No" to single or closed-minded religious, secular or political emphases and dramatic drumbeats of incessant critique.

A tall order, and I have only recently begun the climb, in fits and starts.

However, since I have embarked upon this lighter mode of travel, I do marvel that I laugh more; I chuckle to myself in reaction to things that previously would have upset or frustrated. 

I’ve tapped into an adult-like assertiveness that empowers in managing expectations and preventing future occurrences of “having to extricate myself.” 

I now take the time to discern, objectively, other people’s motivations so as not to take everything personal. Along with that, saying “I’m sorry” is becoming easier; less threatening.

In short, God is fine-tuning the portal to a realistic perspective. 

In the throes of a Chicken Little, back-biting and possessively-ideological world, I am finding happy retirement from trying to get others to affirm me or to be converted to my point of view. 

I have gladly checked out, moving into that very cozy, joyful ambition of leading a quiet life, minding my own business and working with my hands so as to behave properly (1 Thessalonians 4:11-12).

Copyright Barb Harwood