A Biblical Theology of Parenting

My husband and I just completed an online Biblical Theology of the New Testament class. As part of our final exam, we each had to write a Biblical theology of parenting. It was a great exercise, and I highly recommend Christian parents do the same exercise and tape it to the refrigerator! My husband and I both agreed we wish we had done this when we first became Christians. So here it is, my Biblical theology of parenting:

Biblical parenting involves loving, teaching, training, guiding, disciplining and mentoring.

Ephesians 6:1-4 is a great place to start: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’—which is the first commandment with a promise—‘that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.’ Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”

If parents do not first teach respect for parents, then parents are going to find themselves swimming against a very strong current the majority of the time. Finding the balance laid out in the Ephesians verses is key: parents must teach and discipline. Yet, as the verse states, parents must not exasperate their children (Colossians 3:21) by putting unrealistic expectations on them or disciplining too severely or constantly without also praising, encouraging and edifying (1 Thessalonians 5:11). We've all heard "pick your battles" but maybe that should be re-phrased as "don't pick battles" in the first place! "Battle" implies stubbornness and the digging in of one's heels for the long haul, often justified as its being "the principle of the thing." But what principle? At what cost? To whose benefit?

The training and instruction of the Lord can be found as a teaching of Jesus in Matthew 19:14 when Jesus says, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them…”

How is it that parents can hinder their children’s coming to Jesus? Well, by not creating and maintaining a Christian home in belief, thought and deed. Also, by not having a consistent church life at a sound, Bible-believing church (consistent does not mean the church takes over one's family life. Each family must decide as a family what they want to become involved in at church, and how much. The amount of involvement that works for one family may be disruptive in another). In addition, parents can hinder their children’s “coming to Jesus” and growing in Christ by failing to be Christian mentors. If parents watch violence or mediocre, tasteless programming on TV or too much TV, skip daily prayer and Bible time, cuss, cheat, lie, gossip, eat to excess, drink alcohol or abuse prescription drugs, they will indeed be getting in the way of their children’s ability to come to Jesus, especially during the younger developmental years when establishing a Christian walk is so important.

Mark 9:42 goes along with the previous point: “If anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around his neck.” Parents have been entrusted with God’s children. Just as we are not are not our own (1 Corinthians 6:19-20), our children are not our own: they belong to God and are His creation (Psalm 139:13). God will hold parents accountable as to whether they were Godly teachers and a Godly influence or a stumbling block to their children (God does not expect parents to be perfect. But He does expect contrition and repentance from parents and children alike when they sin).

The other key verse for parents to rely on in their parenting, and to teach to their children, is 1 Thessalonians 5:21: “Test everything” (also Romans 12:2). I’ve said this to my children and continue to remind myself of it many times (and wish I had been more proactive at it in my early faith life, when my children were aged 10 and 7). But as my sons are now in college (and my husband and I participate in the online Bible class), I am relying on this verse quite a bit as we all discuss what we hear from classmates, professors and textbooks.

Another key to parenting is to realize we are sinners and live in a fallen world (yes, even cute little two-year olds are sinners. This realization alone should make parents not take bad behavior personally!). This, I believe, is where love is needed most; not to excuse bad behavior, but to make room for the inevitable tripping into sin and making of mistakes. Colossians 3:13-14 says, “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love; which binds them all together in perfect unity” (the prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32 is a great illustration of this).

As I enter my 6^th month of empty-nestness, the above verse holds even more meaning. No one could have prepared me for how much I miss my children, and, in looking back, the desire that more of Colossians 3 would have taken place and less of “sweating the small stuff.” Once my sons left home, I realized how those little irksome qualities of my children are really quite endearing, and it might not be so bad to have a pile of my son’s junk sitting on the dining room table! I guess that’s why empty-nesters make such wonderful grandparents!

Finally, if I had to select one passage from Scripture to give to new parents, it would be Philippians 4:4-9: “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again, Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”

Parents must, in prayer, humble submission, thankfulness and Godly love for our children, give ourselves, our parenting and our children over to God on a daily basis.

copyright Barb Harwood

"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." Proverbs 22:6

How Majestic

Barb Harwood photos, Olympic National Park, Washington

"Oh Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!"

Psalm 8:1;9

"They will speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty, and I will meditate on your wonderful works." Psalm 145:5

The Heavens Declare

Barb Harwood Photos

"The heavens declare the glory of God;

the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

Day after day they pour forth speech;

night after night they display knowledge.

There is no speech or language

where their voice is not heard.

Their voice goes out into all the earth,

their words to the ends of the world."

Psalm 19:1-4

Chris Christie Willing to Take a Stand

The following article

http://money.cnn.com/2011/09/26/news/economy/jersey_shore_tax_credit/index.htm?iid=HP_MPM

is a great example of how judgment calls are a good thing.

One of the most misunderstood passages in Scripture is “do not judge.” Many people, Christians and non-Christians alike, take this to mean, “Keep your opinions to yourself.” Yet, that isn’t what “do not judge” means. It means God will judge (Matthew 7:1; Luke 6:37; Romans 2) and only God knows the heart (1 Kings 8:39-40). We aren’t to think of ourselves as being more valuable in God’s sight than anyone else (John 3:16; Romans 2:11; Romans 12:3; 1 Timothy 2:3; 2 Peter 3:9). We are to pray for the lost and those who persecute us (Matthew 5:44; Matthew 9:35-38; Luke 10:1-3; Romans 12:14;1 Timothy 2:8). We are to be forgiving, understanding that those we forgive must face consequences for their actions, just as we, too, are forgiven by God when we repent yet will face consequences for our actions (Proverbs 3:11-12; Mark 6:12; Ephesians 4:32; Colossians 3:13; Hebrews 12:6; 2 Peter 3:9).

The Bible, however, says we are not to love the things and ways of the world (John 15:18-25; John 17:24; John 17:14-15; Romans 12:2; James 4:4; 1 John 2:15-17), and is full of verses that talk about discernment and correction and having nothing to do with false teaching (1 John 2:18-26; 1 John 3:1-6; 2 John 1:7-11; 2 Thessalonians 3:14; 1 Timothy 1:8-11; 1 Timothy 5:24-25; 2 Peter 3:17). In fact the book of Jude devotes itself to warning believers how close to the brink of destruction they are by allowing “teachers” who mishandle the truth and lead others astray to enter the church. Jude implores the believers to compassionately rescue these apostates if they can, all the while being very careful that they don’t fall into the false teaching themselves. The Bible tells us to be on our guard and to wear the armor of God for protection to stand strong in our faith (Ephesians 6:10-18). The devil, it says, prowls like a lion looking for someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8).

Yet, even in the hostile picture of the world that the Bible portrays, we are to admonish in love and gentleness as we stand on the firm foundation of what we believe (2 Thessalonians 3:14; 2 Timothy 2: 25-26; Colossians 3:16-17). I believe Chris Christie did exactly that. He is standing for what he believes in (and represents many others in agreement with him) and matter-of-factly taking action to remove support for an entity that is derogatory and not worthy of positive recognition or support. Oh that more would follow his lead.

Some are sure to criticize Christie for his actions, saying that now production companies will go elsewhere to film. Let them. There’s a thing in this country called prerogative. Just as Jersey Shore producers and actors have the prerogative to make a tasteless program, politicians have the prerogative to say "not with my tax money" (in the case of Italy, "not in my country," which is basically the cool reception Jersey Shore is getting there. That country doesn’t want the show, or any money it might bring in, either).

I find it incredibly refreshing that Christie has made a judgment call. We hear about the “culture war” all the time. But how can it be fought if everyone is afraid to ruffle someone else’s feathers? Is it only okay for a shoddy program to have its say, but not anyone else? The only way we’ll start winning the culture war is if we actually enter a battle! I thank Chris Christie for doing exactly that.

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world..." Romans 12:2

"Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart...Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will." 2 Timothy 2:22; 25-26

“Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.” 1 John 2:15-17

God Is With Us Right Now

Barb Harwood photo

This morning was one of those mornings where the sun, early autumn colors of purple and gold, a bit of rain, blue sky and large dark clouds all converged. I sat on my porch and thought, “this is the amalgam of life.”

On any given day, life is usually a mix of two or more—sun with rain, or sun with color, or rain with color, or clouds with rain. And sometimes, more often than we even know, all five! That’s when life can get complicated. Yet, this morning was one of the most beautiful of the entire year. And the overriding quality was calm. In spite of the white clouds spilling up and out of the dark sky and the rain, the flowers stood still and the sun glistened off the water drops hanging silently from petals. Remarkably, there was no wind.

God is our calm, too, in the midst of the mix of daily life. This is a reminder I need. As my Dad summed it up yesterday as he related the health issues of his ten-year-old dog, “That’s life.” Life is often out of our control. But even with the diversity of situations, and the aging and death and new birth, living is beautiful because God is present in it. Our days are a hue of brilliance and grey. But God is with us; in joy and in anguish, pain and trepidation, humor and blessing. God is in this life, this very moment, with us.

“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, ‘The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.’” Lamentations 3:22-24

Scripture in the Hands of Politicians and Clueless Writers

I once heard an actress say, "Everyone is an expert on the Bible, yet very few people have actually read it." An article appearing in today's Midwest Christian Outreach highlights the problems that occur with bad exegesis (explanation or interpretation), or no interpretation at all but a mere parroting of what one has heard but never examined for themselves. Journalists, especially, are to be held to a higher standard when it comes to getting things right. If a journalist isn't familiar with the Bible and is unwilling to become familiar with it in a manner of integrity, then perhaps they should leave matters of theology to those who are.

Here's the article, written by Jonathan Miles. It is an extremely worthwhile read for the times we live in:

http://www.midwestoutreach.org/when-presidential-politicians-quote-scripture-part-2

(Midwest Christian Outreach is a resource I've benefitted from since the early days of my Christian walk. One of the things I like about it is that it is independent of any denominational loyalty, and is sincere in its attempt to rightly handle Scripture and do sound Biblical apologetics (a defense of), often with a refreshing sense of humor!)

"Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth." 2 Timothy 2:15

"For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry." 2 Timothy 4:3-5

Here is the Church

Barb Harwood, photos

My son spent last weekend at a freshman college retreat and was quite upset that he had to listen to yet another Christian speaker talk about how “the church isn’t doing anything.” In fact, according to my son, this particular speaker faulted churches for spending more money on missions conferences than on actually doing missions. Yet isn’t it ironic that this critique is coming from none other than a conference speaker?

My son said that the speaker’s closing remarks included the child’s finger play game, “Here is the church, here is the steeple.” Only this speaker changed it to, “Here are the doors, where is the church?” A dramatic soundbite, maybe, but I see it as a cheap shot, and certainly not biblical. I’m sure all the students in the crowd who are involved in ministries were really encouraged and edified. Not!

The apostle Paul is our example of how to disperse criticism. And I certainly wish I’d studied his model in the past in dealing with my own differences with church. But maybe because I’ve been there, I know that this conference speaker is off base. The Bible tells us “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things” (Philippians 4:8). Not that we aren’t to have discernment, concern and constructive criticisms. The verse itself says we are to think about whatever is true, and that can involve some confrontation. Paul, however, in addressing his listeners and churches, always starts out with a praise or edification. Nobody wants to feel constantly beat upon, especially if they already are “doing something” (which the conference speaker has no way of knowing. Often, a speaker or author will assume their audience is doing nothing, or that the audience is doing all the work and everyone “out there” is doing nothing. Again, these “experts” have no way of knowing what everyone “out there” is doing).

So, before his corrective teachings, Paul first says something positive to build up and encourage, and only after that does he explain where the churches are in error. He follows that, in turn, with instruction on the specific changes that need to be made going forward. Again, many authors and speakers on the circuit today shoot off about the church not being “authentic” or “radical” or “relevant,” but never give an answer as to how to be that way. In fact, they often say we need to be in a “conversation” to figure it all out. Well, the conversation has been going on for several years now and these authors and speakers continue to claim, “Nothing’s being done.” Maybe the “conversation” approach is the problem, not the church.

The second point is that, if a person critiques a church based on works that meet their personal definition of works, the church will often look like it isn’t doing anything simply because it isn’t doing what that particular person considers works! Jesus, in John 6:29 says, “The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent.” The church as Jesus commissioned it is to preach the Gospel. Acts 4:18-19 says, “Then they called them in again and commanded them not to speak or teach at all in the name of Jesus. But Peter and John replied, ‘Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God’s sight to obey you rather than God. For we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard.”

In studying this, I looked to “A Biblical Theology of the New Testament” by Roy B. Zuck, where author Darrell Bock states, “So the new community saw herself as called to obey God by continuing to preach the message of Jesus to the people…Peter noted that the new community will obey God, not man…The church considered it an honor to be able to share the message and asked for boldness to do the job” (see Acts 4:29.)

In Luke, the church is to be a witness as well: “Then he opened their minds so they could understand the Scriptures. He told them, ‘This is what is written: The Christ will suffer and rise from the dead on the third day, and repentance and forgiveness of sins will be preached in his name to all nations, beginning at Jerusalem. You are witnesses of these things’” (24:45-47).

Jesus commissioned His church to be a believing church and to share the way to that belief with others so that they, too, can receive the gift of new life here and in heaven (and from someone who is about to go in for a biopsy, the notion of some that we focus too much on heaven is, I believe, also not biblical. Even thinking that I may have cancer, as small of a chance as it is, makes me incredibly grateful for the hope and reality of heaven. I know people whose fear of death—especially as they age--has them caught in despair. Don’t we want to give them the scissors that will cut them loose from that chain of despair?).

Yet many in the church today don’t find the reading, teaching and sharing of the Gospel, along with prayer and witness, as worthy. But everyone who claims the name of Jesus Christ needs to go back and see that belief in Jesus and His Word is not relegated to one random, remote page of Scripture, never to be mentioned again! Nor is the sharing of the Gospel. It’s all right there throughout and is, in fact, part and parcel of loving one’s neighbor.

With that, I lift up the following members of the Body of Christ to show that indeed, the church is doing something!! May looking at what people are already doing encourage us to get involved if we aren’t already!

Locally:

A Lutheran High School Graduate of the Class of 1998 is “leaving her position at Pella Corporation in Pella, IA to train with Youth With a Mission.” YWAM’s stated purpose is to “know God and to make Him known,” and includes short-term evangelistic missionary journeys, educational training, church planting, business as mission and relief and development services.

Another LHS Graduate, Class of 2009, spent four weeks in Uruguay as a missionary for Campus Crusade for Christ, and has been involved with the Madison chapter the last two years. She helped build a campus ministry in Montevideo.

Southside Alliance Church in Sheboygan, Wisconsin has the following outreach: “Forgiven and Set Free” confidential Bible Study for those seeking healing from an abortion; Faith-in-Action Sunday with a focus on “Going to Church to Being the Church;” several home groups focusing on building Godly relationships; and a recovery ministry and archery ministry, both open to the public. SSA includes a Ministry Start-Up form on their website, which implies that anyone with an idea can get started!

First Baptist Church in Oak Creek, Wisconsin, is holding a fundraising banquet for the Alpha Women’s Center in Milwaukee. Alpha Women’s Center is a crisis pregnancy center offering counseling and abortion alternatives, along with parenting support and programs. Faith Baptist Church in Plymouth, Wisconsin is also one of its supporters and recently delivered diapers and other baby supplies to the center.

Nationally

Third Christian Reformed Church of Denver, Colorado sent an adult team to Mexico in April, and supports missionaries in Mexico, Costa Rica, Nicaragua, Nigeria and Cambodia. Their local outreach includes working with the Khmer Christian Reformed Church in nearby Aurora. The website says, “The Cambodian ministry is bringing the Good News of God's Word to our Cambodian neighbors in the Denver area. The Khmer CRC ministers to an average of 80 adults who faithfully attend each Sunday with their children.” There is also a Cambodian Teen Youth Ministry that meets every Thursday evening. Third Christian Reformed also partners with the Sun Valley Community Church, where “the ministry is shaped by a neighborhood consisting of primarily single-parent families with few financial resources. Our vision is to present the gospel of Jesus Christ as the solution to life's challenges, while demonstrating our care and concern. Our ministry at Sun Valley is through pastoral support, gifts of food, clothing, and support of their tutoring program. Sun Valley Church is a place of worship for this community.” This is just a partial list of all of the things Third Christian is involved in.

The Presbyterian Reformed Church of Charlotte, North Carolina is involved with Bible distribution and translation; African Bible College in Uganda; Voice of the Martyrs—a non-profit interdenominational Christian organization dedicated to assisting the persecuted church worldwide; a church plant in Italy; support of a church in Malawi and two students at Knox Seminary in Uganda.

Internationally

Central Baptist Church in Victoria, British Columbia, which I attended while on vacation, supports missionaries in Sudan, Indonesia, Japan, Kenya, Argentina, South Africa and the Philippines. In their community of Victoria, they do the following outreach: hold a monthly free hot breakfast; offer free ESL classes in conjunction with the Victoria Immigrant and Refugee Center Society; and send volunteers from church to go into the near-by elementary school weekly to help students learn to read.

“Again Jesus said, ‘Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.’” John 20:21