Then and Now

Barb Harwood, photos

Thinking about our past as we lived it without God can be a cringing experience. I am completely embarrassed at the words I spoke and the attitudes from which I spoke them back in my unsaved days. How long-suffering people were to put up with my know-it-allness, self-assuredness, ignorance and self-promotion! I think back now and can’t even believe I was at one time that person.

And I haven’t even gotten to the non-speaking embarrassments that came in the form of stupid and addictive behaviors, obsessions and materialism!

Some people might say, “You’ve come a long way. Don’t beat yourself up.” Well, I’m not. Although I do cringe and feel completely embarrassed as I walk down my Heathen Memory Lane, I feel awe more than anything. I mean, I sit back, shake my head and chuckle at the amazing feat of God to rescue me out of the “dominion of darkness” and “into the kingdom of the Son He loves” (Colossians 1:13). I never get over the miracle of it all. It is sobering to think how far into the light of Jesus God has brought me. I know other Christians say the same. We are sinners, ever thankful to be saved by God’s atoning grace.

And lest any of us maintain sadness about our pre-Christian past or it’s consequences, we must go forth now in Christ as the new creation we are. Others may not believe our transformation and remain skeptical or uninterested; a few will not like it. Some people will not want to give us a second chance. But we steadfastly go forth in Christ anyway: always knowing that God wipes our slate clean, even if others don’t.

"Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, 'I will confess any transgressions to the Lord'--and you forgave the guilt of my sin." Psalm 32:5

“At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior,…” Titus 3:3-6

“For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.” Hebrews 8:12

The Many Ways Faith Can Be Couched

January is a great month, not only because it is symbolic of new beginnings, but also because not much goes on during these 31 days, making it a perfect time to regroup in our faith.

Over the last few months, I’ve had the opportunity to be exposed to many different perspectives and claims to faith. I’ve noticed there are many ways people couch their faith, myself included. In fact, as my husband and I have been undergoing God’s winnowing process this past year, I’m seeing more clearly how much other stuff I did, and still do, instead of faith.

So I came up with a cursory list of some of the ways I, and others, fool ourselves into thinking we are walking with God when, in reality, we aren’t (or at least not in full): These are some of the entities in which faith can be couched:

Social Justice

Politics

Theology

Philosophy

Three-times a week church attendance

Bible studies

Service activities

Are the above categories bad? No, not necessarily. I think we all understand how anything can be insincere from a faith perspective when it replaces a reliance on God and obedience to His leading. We must keep aware that the love of knowledge, manmade traditions and works contains the risk of us falling out of God’s will.

So, for the above entities (and any others you can think of) we can test our motivations and actions by asking some questions (I wish I would have been asking myself these years ago):

*Do we think Jesus is like us instead of having the perspective that we are to be like Jesus? (Psalm 50:21; John 3:30, 1 Peter 1:15-16)

*Do seminary, Christian college or other classes take place in lieu of an intentional living out of our faith and a sincere desire to allow God to eradicate revealed sin in our life? Do we read His Word daily for our personal walk, in addition to any formal class readings? Do we think that, because we are in formal Christian training, our class readings and assignments make us spiritual, and we can “check out” from a personal relationship with God for a while?

Also, if our study of theology and the Bible is more about what other people argue about God, to the point that we are losing sight of who God says He is in His word, and if our goal is to deconstruct the Bible on one hand while thinking we can continue to live a Biblically-based life of faith on the other, we are in danger of double-mindedness. Something will have to give. The Bible says we cannot serve two masters…..(James 1:5-8, 12, Matthew 5:37; Luke 16:13, Matthew 6:24)

*Are we reading books, even those by “Christian” authors, instead of daily Bible reading (again, thinking that since we’re at least reading a “Christian” author, we’re being spiritual)?

*Do we attend public and church prayer meetings but neglect daily family and private prayer at home?

*Do we believe our three-times-a-week church attendance has us covered, and we’re good to go? The time and effort we take to dress, gather the family, drive to church and be on time: does that translate the rest of the week into intentionally living out our faith with our families? Do we “show up” every morning with God? Are we on time Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday with God as we are on Sunday mornings, evenings and Wednesday nights? Are we as committed to living faith outside of church as we are three times a week in church?

*Do we spend as much time with God in His Word and prayer and just listening for Him as we do in active service? And vice versa? Just as faith without works is dead, works without faith is dead too (James 2:14-26; Luke 10:38-42).

*Do we go to Bible study, not having prepared or done the work, nor practiced it during the week--But hey, at least we’re showing up for Bible study?

*Do we involve ourselves, mostly via conversations and handwringing, in politics and social justice, but don’t give these things sincerely to God in daily prayer, or seek how He might personally involve us in actually doing something instead of just getting verbally fired up? If we claim social justice as our cause, but aren’t actually allowing God to address specific issues through us and through our persistent prayer, then we are merely social justice posers. On another note, both social justice and politics run the risk of being our religion.

*Do we let our philosophy of God and the Bible, and how we think He and the Bible should be, affect our theology? Has philosophy replaced, misconstrued or blocked Biblical faith?

Many of you reading this are consistently in God’s will, living daily for Him, and sincerely seeking His guidance and His Word. I mean to encourage as well as pose questions that may help me and others get more in line with God. So “thank you” to those of you who are walking the talk!

I ask these questions not for admonishment but for the purpose of raising the bar for those of us who want to progress, grow and allow God to bear fruit in and through us. These are questions we can each sincerely consider as we seek the brutal truth regarding our own selves, as well as our attitude toward God and others. Because if we truly desire to be in His will, these questions won’t scare or offend us--they’ll motivate us. And we can ask the Holy Spirit to help us arrive at honest answers.

I have been and continue to be convicted in my answers to many of the above tests at one time or another, and need to re-take these tests often. God desires right motivation in us, and only He knows our hearts. So as this year unfolds, we can commit to submitting to God in order for Him to put a right heart, spirit and motivation within us so that we’re walking His path, His way, and not our path, our way.

“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10

“Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.” Psalm 51:12

JOY

Nicholas Flatoff photo

C.S. Lewis calls Joy “a kind of love.”

He writes, “I call it Joy, which is here a technical term and must be sharply distinguished both from Happiness and from Pleasure. Joy (in my sense) has indeed one characteristic, and one only, in common with them; the fact that anyone who has experienced it will want it again.”

Lewis spent much of his pre-Christian life desiring to find Joy. And what he eventually found is that it wasn’t Joy itself he needed to find, but its Source. When Lewis wasn’t looking, even though he was looking—but in the wrong direction—he was surprised by Joy.

As he tells it,

“There was no strain of music from within, no smell of eternal orchids at the threshold, when I was dragged through the doorway…” by, and to, the Source of Joy, God Himself. “I found it (Joy) to be a person,” writes Lewis, who adds that Joy “might be one of the demands, might be the very first demand, He would make upon me.”

“Then will I go to the altar of God, to God, my joy and my delight.” Psalm 43:4

A Joyous Christmas Eve

Barb Harwood, photo

The following is a Christmas editorial from the Wall Street Journal.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204464404577112431986005786.html?mod=djemEditorialPage_h

"The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor." Luke 4:18-19

All of us are the poor, all of us are the prisoners, all of us are blind, all of us are oppressed...lest we think these words do not apply to us. Jesus came for all of us, making us rich in Him, though we are poor materially, spiritually or emotionally; freeing us from a bondage to darkness; giving us sight to see His truth; releasing us from the self-centeredness of ourselves and others; and giving us the gift of Himself.

Merry Christmas!

The Gift of Jesus: A Matter of Style?

I heard someone make the comment recently that a gift they received “wasn’t really their style.”

It struck me that many people view the gift of Jesus the same way. He simply isn’t “their style.” As Christians, we also reject the gift of Himself when we like His “style” in some ways but not in others. Many of us are great with the serving side of Jesus, but we don’t follow Jesus in heart matters. Instead, we allow spiritual pride, self-promotion, envy and the like to take hold.

I often fail to allow Jesus to love me and love Him back and love others simply because it “isn’t my style” at the moment to do so. I ignore His gift of the inner counselor—the Holy Spirit—to guide me into all truth, righteousness and love because I am more bent on getting even emotionally with someone or boasting about myself out of a need for societal acceptance and affirmation. Many of us don’t take every thought captive, as the Bible teaches, and we don’t focus on loving others with our attitudes and words as much as we focus on finding fault and seeing the world with a critical spirit. If there is any message that needs to be pounded into me at Christmas, it’s this: to live out the joy I have because my Savior, Jesus Christ, was willing to freely love me—and all others--to the point of death on a cross.

What does that mean? It means He came to save us from our thought lives. Our repentance and trust in Him does bring eternal life in heaven. But before heaven, there’s a whole lot of cleaning up to do in our hearts here on earth. The best gift we can give ourselves, and ultimately others, is to give our hearts to Jesus for regeneration and rebirth.

Jesus came as a baby into lowly circumstances. He came in humbleness and sweetness; all the attributes of a baby. Jesus obviously thought them important, if not key to the Christian life, to make them the conditions of His entrance into the world.

Many of us excel at service, giving material things, planting churches and providing financial and even prayer support. But do we practice (and not just listen to it at weddings) a 1 Corinthians love that begins in our hearts and forms our attitudes and outlook, transforming our service so that it is God’s pure service through us? Do we apply a right attitude and selflessness to our families and to those we encounter who are a bit abrasive?

Jesus Christ has not made it an enigma on how our hearts should be. Since love is the greatest command, our heart’s foundation must be love. Jesus tells us how to love. He doesn’t make us figure it out for ourselves: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.

Love never fails….but I do. I fail at this kind of love on a daily basis. That’s because I squash the Holy Spirit who is desperately trying to grow this kind of love in me. We tend our gardens and maintain our homes. And Christians give wonderfully to charity, serve on the mission field and allow God to work through us in uncountable ways. Christians are such an incredible blessing. But I know that, for me, and for perhaps many Christians, a struggle with core heart issues exists, sometimes affecting the glory that is supposed to go to God in my serving and family life.

The gift of new life in Jesus Christ is not something we can put on the level of the style of curtains we decorate our house with, the jeans we wear, or the kind of restaurants we choose. Jesus is not a matter of taste or style. I need to stop living my thought life as if He were.

“One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, ‘Of all the commandments, which is the most important?’ ‘The most important,’ answered Jesus, ‘is this: “Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” ‘The second is this: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” There is no commandment greater than these.’” Mark 12:28-31

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.” 1 Corinthians 13:1-3

“And now these three remain; faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” 1 Corinthians 13:13

Where and What is Our Treasure?

A recent news article on the value of antiques gave me pause. It reported how Jim Beam Collector’s Edition decanters, which were made from 1966 to 1986, “have not gained in value through the years.” In fact, any Collector’s Edition decanter sells today for $5 or less.

I know someone who has a living room filled with these porcelain decanters. The person is convinced that this collection "will be valuable someday.” I don't have the heart to tell them the truth.

This little news item hit me because the Lord has been pushing me these last few months to de-materialize. As I have been obedient in His request, I have spent much time commiserating with my husband regarding the stuff we’ve managed to accumulate over the years. That led to a discussion on why humans collect things in the first place. I know my reasons for obtaining possessions was that, before I was a Christian, I attached sentimentality to material things. So my kids received Beanie Babies to mark birthdays and holidays. They received “keepsake” items like music boxes and snow globes. My son, as a toddler, loved a bar of soap in the shape of an animal, so I fed that enjoyment by giving him more soaps in animal shapes until he had a collection: Not a collection of his own volition, but one fed to him by me, his mother. On and on it goes.

We feel the need to mark life with stuff. We also fill voids in life with stuff. We “kill time” by shopping for stuff. We decorate for the holidays by buying “seasonal” shower curtains, hand towels, front-porch mats, cooking mitts and candles. We have red, white and blue plates for the 4^th of July and pumpkin-decorated dinnerware for Thanksgiving. We have candy cane pajamas for Christmas. We have snowflake comforters for winter and poppy printed blankets for summer. We have TVs, computers, hand-helds and cells. We have and we have and we have. And then one day, we realize that all that we have is a burden that only steals time away from family, friends and ministry.

I have come to deplore the mindset that once drove me eagerly to Kohls, Shopko and Target. The times I've had to reluctantly go into those places recently (had to find a requested red tie for my husband for a wedding) I could hardly breathe for the overwhelming memory of how, only a short time ago, I came to these places to spend time, assuage boredom, and put my trust in new clothes or towels to “lift my spirits.”

God alone has begun a new work in me. Since June 1^st, my husband and I have tossed out or donated a good portion of our built-up possessions. I can’t even really remember all that I have gotten rid of. I just know that, the more I get rid of, the less burdened I become, and the closer to God’s will for my life I get. And God isn’t settling. He is pushing me harder to keep going--to get into the high places and remove some more; to get into the recesses and remove, remove, remove.

Stuff in itself is not a bad thing. Too much of it is, along with too much attachment. Once God commanded me to start letting go, I got over my initial reluctance when I saw how much easier it is to clean my house, how pleasant it is to live with empty spaces and how much time has been freed up.

God has given me an amazing gift these last six months: the gift of freedom from accumulated stuff and from wanting more stuff. I am patiently awaiting what He has in store for me with this new unburdened life. He is tearing down the storehouse of stuff, freeing my heart from its attachment to things and putting a new treasure there.

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:19-21

“Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Luke 12:33-34

“But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.” 1 Timothy 6:6-8

Harvest

photos, Barb Harwood

"You crown the year with your bounty, and your carts overflow with abundance." Psalm 65:11

"The Lord will indeed give what is good, and our land will yield its harvest." Psalm 85:12

"...let the fields be jubilant, and everything in them." Psalm 96:12