A Lamentations Blog Series on Motherhood

As I mentioned, I am enrolled in Moody Theological Seminary, and for the last week or so, have been deeply embedded in the Old Testament Book of Lamentations. Whether this book is written by the prophet Jeremiah or not (there is some disagreement) is not of particular concern for my purpose, which is to apply the practice of lament to our current day.

As I read the book and studied what others have to say about it, it struck me how Lamentations is a social commentary: it includes everything from the expectations God set up for the Israelites, the consequences that would be incurred by their obedience or lack thereof, and the final straw that broke everyone’s back: the destruction of Jerusalem when God’s justice was poured out in 587/6 BC.

As the Israelites were a community of individuals just like we are today, it is fitting to study Lamentations’ components: disobedience in the form of self-centeredness, reliance on human wisdom, neglect of integrity and family responsibility, obliviousness to accountability and naively thinking everything is just fine in spite of those who warn otherwise. 

The ramifications of Lamentations are: consequences for putting ourselves first and being outside of God’s will, accountability for our own lapse in meeting our responsibilities, hurt and pain that we only experience after the fact, i.e. after our self-indulgent actions have passed.

The topic that has been on my heart heavily the last several years has been Motherhood. As I read Lamentations I realized that, just as Jeremiah and other Old Testament prophets warned the people of their wayward ways for more than two hundred years, I have witnessed, beginning in my formative years and up through today, the respect for Motherhood shrink. And the saddest part for me is that much of this lack of respect comes from mothers themselves.

I came upon the idea of lament as social commentary in three theological journals. The first is the April, 2013, volume of the journal Interpretation which is conveniently dedicated to the book of Lamentations. Two scholars whose essays appear there are Erhard Gerstenberger and Beau Harris. Speaking on Lamentations generally, Gerstenberger writes: 

“I repeat my contention that Lamentations does not exclusively relate to one determined defeat and sacking of the holy city, but to a cumulated ensemble of defeats and humiliations, sufferings, and frustrated hopes.” 

This accumulation sums up my perception of the pressure and tension Motherhood finds itself under today.

Beau Harris explains my purpose in writing this series when he says, 

“authentic dialogue introduces all of its participants to new ideas, experiences, and insights that are brought to the dialogue by the many different partners.  
      Alternatively, a conversation between two people who agree on all their talking points will not stimulate growth in either person because nothing new has been introduced to them by the other party.” 

I’m raising some emotional issues that may bruise some and encourage others, but hopefully and prayerfully offer a beneficial perspective.

Derek Suderman and Conrad Grebel write, on pages 201-202 in volume six of the Journal of Theological Interpretation, that the lament is indeed a social commentary, addressed to a broad community which moves 

“lament from an individual encounter with the divine into a profoundly social context that highlights the significance of a listening community committed to hear such cries and discern a faithful response...”

They continue:

“Laments are also addressed to a social audience and thus function rhetorically as warnings, threats, accusations, and appeals for empathy and support. Thus, in addition to providing an empowering voice and significant social critique, the function of lament requires the attentive, discerning ear of those who hear or hear about these pained cries” (p. 209).

Suderman and Grebel cite theologian Walter Brueggemann with pointing out that lament challenges the status quo and promotes self-reflection and self-critique, bringing attention to an  “irritant” that “things are not right.”

So it is I begin a five-part social commentary on the fallen state of Motherhood, written as lament, based on the linguistic attributes and prominent role of suffering and sorrow found in the Biblical Book of Lamentations. 

"Arise, cry out in the night, 

as the watches of the night begin; 

pour out your heart like water 

in the presence of the Lord." 
                                Lamentations 2:19a

How Fleeting the Time with Our Children

I just rode the Amtrak train to Chicago and back. On the way to Chicago, a young father sat with his daughter, and she appeared to be about eight-years-old. The father played games on his handheld the entire train ride.

On the evening train trip home from Chicago, a family of mom, dad, and two sons aged about 5 and 7, sat in the seats across the aisle from me. The mom and seven-year-old were directly across so it was hard not to observe their interaction, or lack thereof.

The boy had with him a large Rainforest Café drink cup that probably cost ten bucks or more, along with a rainforest toy frog. Obviously this family was on a vacation or leisure outing of some sort. Yet, the mom was engrossed, and I mean completely and totally engrossed, with playing a game on her handheld. I don’t play these games, but it looked something like the old Centipede game that I played on a big ol’ bulky arcade machine back in the 80’s when I was in college. You know—the games that cost jars of saved-up quarters in order to play.

The little boy talked softly, and when he did, his mom told him to “Be quiet.” He barely moved, and she loudly admonished him to “Sit still.” At one point she said, in a frustrated huff, to “Go sit by your Dad if you don’t want to sit here.” The poor child. The entire time the mom barely took her eyes off her game. Her frustration resided not in the son’s behavior, but in it being an interruption to her game. So the boy continued to play quietly with his Rainforest Café frog so mom could continue to white-knuckle it with the handheld.

About a half hour later, the little boy was fast asleep, his knit hat pulled down over his eyes due to the bright internal lights of the train, which do not turn off during the ride. He was leaning up against the cold hard side of the train, in a rather uncomfortable position. Looking over and seeing her son sleeping this way, the mom took a small camera out of her purse and took a picture of her son sleeping. She couldn’t pay one iota of attention to him while awake, but she’s all over him with a camera while asleep. After taking the photo, she went back to playing her game. Never occurred to her to take that young boy in her arms and nuzzle him into a more comfortable position against her body while he slept.

My compassion is as much for the parent, who is choosing to replace time with a child for time with Angry Birds or Tetris, as it is for the child. I know regret. My kids are grown and gone. That is why I write this. Oh the regret parents will have when they look back and see the wasted moments, the precious commodity of time they can never get back! If you have children, and they lovingly want your interaction, give it to them.

I’m not talking about indulging bratty behavior. I’m not talking about spoiling kids. The boy with the frog only wanted his mom’s interaction; he was not a brat. He was on a train, sitting next to his mom, and he wanted to share the adventure with her. He obviously did not find his expensive Rainforest Café cup and frog to be a replacement for his mother.

“Show me, O LORD, my life’s end

and the number of my days;

let me know how fleeting is my life.

You have made my days a mere handbreadth;

the span of my years is as nothing before you.

Each man’s life is but a breath.” Psalm 39:4-5

“See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.” Matthew 18:10

"I Have Seen the Lord!"

"Then the disciples went back to their homes, but Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus' body had been, one at the head and the other at the foot. 
They asked her, 'Woman, why are you crying?'
They have taken my Lord away,' she said, 'and I don't know where they have put him.' At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus.
'Woman,' he said, 'why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?'
Thinking he was the gardener, she said, 'Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him.'
Jesus said to her, 'Mary.'
She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, 'Rabboni!' (which means Teacher).
Jesus said, 'Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet returned to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, 'I am returning to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.'
Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: 'I have seen the Lord!' And she told them that he had said these things to her." John 20:10-18

Using the Gospel to Justify Drinking?

There seems to be an attitude, especially among young Christians (by young I mean late teens on up to 30-somethings) that in order to share the Gospel with those who drink, the person sharing the Gospel must also drink. I was told that this is especially important in Europe: that it is “offensive” to sit and have a conversation in a pub and not drink alcohol.

My husband spent almost three weeks in Russia on a business mission trip with a secular organization. It goes without saying that in Russia, alcohol is a part of life. My husband does not drink. At first, the Russian businessmen he was working with were taken aback, but when they heard my husband’s explanation of why he doesn’t drink, they were fine, and in fact, respected my husband for his alcohol-free life.

To those who believe one must drink alcohol in order to share the Gospel with drinkers in America, Europe or anywhere else, I say: Be sure you are not using “sharing the Gospel” to justify your own desire to drink. Because--just a thought--what if the guy in the Irish pub is looking at you and thinking to himself, “This bloke is no different than me. Here he sits in this dark pub, drinking beer, and yet I’m supposed to believe that Christ has changed his life.” Our goal is not for folks to see or hear us, it’s for them to see and hear Jesus.

If the main motivation behind the “drinking is necessary to share the Gospel” ministry mindset is to justify one’s own drinking (and I believe it is), then Jesus is being used. The Gospel does not “need” alcohol as a prop. 

“For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world.” 1 John 2:16

“Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall.”

Romans 14:20-21

“I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile. For in the gospel a righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: ‘The righteous will live by faith.’” Romans 1:16-17

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.” Hebrews 12:1-4

He Came to Die

Quote of the Day:

“The Cross of Christ is the revealed truth of God’s judgment on sin. Never associate the idea of martyrdom with the Cross of Christ. It was the supreme triumph, and it shook the very foundations of hell. There is nothing in time or eternity more absolutely certain and irrefutable than what Jesus Christ accomplished on the Cross—He made it possible for the entire human race to be brought back into a right-standing relationship with God. He made redemption the foundation of human life; that is, He made a way for every person to have fellowship with God.

The Cross was not something that happened to Jesus—He came to die; the Cross was His purpose in coming. He is ‘the lamb slain from the foundation of the world’ (Revelation 13:8). The incarnation of Christ would have no meaning without the Cross. Beware of separating ‘God was manifested in the flesh...’ from ‘...He made Him...to be sin for us...’ (1 Timothy 3:16; 2 Corinthians 5:21). The purpose of the incarnation was redemption. God came in the flesh to take sin away, not to accomplish something for Himself. The Cross is the central event in time and eternity, and the answer to all the problems of both.

The Cross is not the cross of a man, but the Cross of God, and it can never be fully comprehended through human experience. The Cross is God exhibiting His nature. It is the gate through which any and every individual can enter into oneness with God. But it is not a gate we pass right through; it is one where we abide in the life that is found there.

The heart of salvation is the Cross of Christ. The reason salvation is so easy to obtain is that it cost God so much. The Cross was the place where God and sinful man merged with a tremendous collision and where the way to life was opened. But all the cost and pain of the collision was absorbed by the heart of God.” Oswald Chambers, April 6 devotion, My Utmost for His Highest


“God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” 2 Corinthians 5:21

“He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed. For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.” 1 Peter 2:24-25

Not a Martyr

Quote of the Day:

“Now I want to repudiate the statement that He (Jesus) died as a martyr: People say He laid down certain principles that finally took him to the cross; that the cross was an accident, He couldn’t help it, and He died as a martyr to His principles. Not a word of truth in it! Christ never died as a martyr, and the Bible doesn’t say it anywhere. He laid His life down voluntarily. Do you want proof of it? Hear His own words: 
     ‘I lay down my life, that I might take it again. No man taketh it from me, but I lay it down of myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again.’ Jesus Christ could have gone up on the other side of the cross just as well as this side. The law had no claim on Him. If He had broken the law, He would have had to die for His own sin, but He was a Lamb without spot or without blemish, and He died as our substitute voluntarily. That is the teaching of Jesus Christ.” Dwight Lyman Moody, The D.L. Moody Collection, p.318-319.

     “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. The hired hand is not the shepherd who owns the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. 
     "I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me—just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep. I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd. The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life—only to take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father.” John 10:11-18