Comfort and Joy

I am currently reading The Good News We Almost Forgot: Rediscovering the Gospel in a 16th Century Catechism, by Kevin DeYoung. 

Here is a quote from the book:

     "...it doesn't help much to know all about comfort and joy if we don't know what is required to live and die in this comfort and joy. Belonging to Jesus and not ourselves means knowing three things: guilt, grace, and gratitude...First, we understand our sin. Then we understand salvation. And finally we understand how we are sanctified to serve.

     "All three things are necessary. If  we don't know about our sin--which brings a true sense of guilt--we will be too confident in our abilities to do right and make the world a better place. We will ignore our most fundamental problem, which is not lack of education, or lack of opportunity, or lack of resources but sin and its attendant misery. But if we don't know how we are set free from this sin and misery--...through God's grace--we will try to fix ourselves in futility or give up altogether in despair. And if we don't know how to thank God, showing gratitude for such deliverance, we will live in a self-centered, self-referential bubble, which is not why God saved us from our sin and misery in the first place. If Christians would hold to all 'three things' and not just one or two, we would be saved from a lot of poor theology and bad ideas." Kevin DeYoung


"If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete." John 15:10-11

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows." 
2 Corinthians 1:3-5

The Grace of God Through Us

God’s grace is always with us, along with Satan’s attempts to appeal to our pride to bring us back to our own independence. This is especially so in our inter-personal relationships.

For example, many people of diverse political, moral, spiritual, emotional, and mental convictions will find themselves in confined quarters this Thursday for the annual celebration of the Thanksgiving meal. As is true whenever folks gather, each person will bring a presence into the room: a jolly person lightheartedness; a negative person a pall of depression. Some people fill a room with tension; others instant calm and security.

We as Christians can choose to either bring God’s grace into a room or our own independence. In the latter case, we drag in whatever mood or attitude we are currently indulging in: nastiness, haughtiness, remoteness, superiority, intellectualism, self-promotion, self-justification, self-protection, syncretism (trying to look like or please the people we are surrounded by), superficial compassion, drama or an internal critical spirit. Our mood, along with the mood of an entire room, can change depending on who enters or leaves.

But when God’s grace is brought into the room: His warmth, wisdom, strength, silence, calm, patience, confidence, love, and discernment--others will notice. They will feel a presence like never before unless they’ve previously been around other true disciples. And when people continue to perceive this same remarkable and positively peculiar presence around Christians, they will begin to understand that it is Christ who they are seeing in Christians, not the person in whom Christ lives.

As Christians, the last person people need to see is us. The first, and finally only, person they need to see is Christ. This requires God’s grace flowing through us to bring Christ into a room. We do this out of love for and obedience to the One who showed forth Christ to us through others and now instructs us to let Him do the same for others through us.

“However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.” Acts 20:24

“For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified.”  1 Corinthians 2:2

Third Quote from "The Road Trip"

From The Road Trip by Mark Sayers:

"The serpent raises a possibility in the minds of Adam and Eve. Scripture tells us that creation was good, that humans lived in harmony with God and nature, knowing no pain or shame. Yet the serpent causes Adam and Eve to wonder if the grass is greener somewhere else, to wonder if God truly is good. The serpent's question in some ways is the ancestor of the culture of the road, which causes us to doubt the goodness of where we are at, to always be seduced by the possibilities over the horizon. Just like the culture of the road, the serpent also tempts us to break out from our divinely ordained place. The serpent is the first pagan, raising the possibility of there being more than one god, when he tells Eve that if she eats of the tree, that she and Adam may become like God." Mark Sayers, The Road Trip, page 175

"For there is one God and one mediator between God and mankind, the man Christ Jesus," 1 Timothy 2:5

Another Quote from "The Road Trip"

From the book, The Road Trip, by Mark Sayers:

"The contemporary self does not have to literally be on the move to be on the road. Being on the road is primarily a state of mind, one that constantly is dissatisfied, looking for the next best thing, living in incompleteness, always engaged in a quest for a sense of significance. This search for meaning becomes even more problematic in a culture which flees from objective truth, which fears authority and the holding of belief too strongly. The contemporary person finds themselves engaged in a quest for a truth they are told that they cannot find. In which the act of questing itself is given more importance than the completion of the quest. In such an environment the worldivew of the road is triumphant. 

"The road has made us fickle. It has made our faiths weak. It has made us spoiled. To state it in its most brutal and blatant form, the road is ruining our lives and it is ruining our culture. It has left us lost and directionless, consumers not followers of God." Mark Sayers, The Road Trip, pages 52-53.



"Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations, 
I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10

Quote from "The Road Trip" by Mark Sayers

Currently I am reading The Road Trip That Changed the World: The unlikely theory that will change how you view culture, the church, and most importantly, yourself, by Mark Sayers.

Here is a quote from the book:

"When disappointed in the quality of their lives, many people--particularly young adults across the Western world--blame not their overblown expectations but instead their faiths, abandoning in droves their engagement with Christianity." Mark Sayers, page 33, The Road Trip That Changed the World



"This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin." 1 John 1:5-7

"If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us." 1 John 1:8

C.S. Lewis on Liberal Writers in the Church

C.S. Lewis, when asked in an interview, “What is your opinion of the kind of writing being done within the Christian church today?” answered:

“A great deal of what is being published by writers in the religious tradition is a scandal and is actually turning people away from the church. The liberal writers who are continually accommodating and whittling down the truth of the Gospel are responsible. I cannot understand how a man can appear in print claiming to disbelieve everything that he presupposes when he puts on the surplice. I feel it is a form of prostitution.”

 C.S. Lewis, Decision Magazine, December 1963

“Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night.” Psalm 1:1-2

Worry Over Whether People Like Us

It may appear as though worrying about what other people think, and concluding that, for the most part, they think ill of us, is a form of humble self-deprecation. However, I believe that a constant concerning ourselves with what people think of us is actually a form of self-absorption and self-centeredness.

We may also try to tell ourselves that we are only being “other-centered” in being concerned for what others think. But when we live in a daily concern (which is actually fear) that others don’t or won’t like us, it is very easy to fall into victimhood, with the other person becoming the bad guy. It is very easy to form the habit of deciding people we’re meeting for the first time won’t like us and thus walk away after the meeting believing that they actually don’t. It is very easy to maintain this stance in all future interactions.

This can be patently unfair to people who actually do enjoy our company and don’t harbor any ill will towards us whatsoever. It can sabotage and shortchange relationships. It leads us down the path of martyrdom where we stop interacting with people altogether, or make sure that we hurt people before they hurt us.

I know what it is like to go through life thinking people don’t “like” or respect me. Having grown up in a family where people appeared nice in person, but where gossip and talking about people behind their backs was the norm, I find it difficult to trust people.

So even if someone is friendly to me, I have to fight the tendency to wonder what they are saying behind my back, or thinking in their head. This is, in part, my problem. I need to stop thinking that everyone is a back-stabber or a gossip.

The only solution to this deeply ingrained pattern of thinking has been to weigh my conscience before God, understanding that all of us sin when we backstab and gossip. We all sin when we automatically think the worst of folks (including ourselves), or choose to focus on faults rather than positive attributes.

Which is why Philippians 4:8 is an over-arching verse, whether we are on the side of perceiving someone or being perceived (and it’s both every time we interact with one or more persons). The verse says, 

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

If we focus on whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy, then we will not maintain a critical spirit toward someone (or ourselves). And isn’t it a critical spirit that has decided others don’t “like” us, even with all indications to the contrary? It’s a critical spirit towards them as well as towards ourselves.

However, If we are being as Christ-like as our current level of spiritual maturity allows us to be in our interactions with others, and we test our thoughts, words and actions with God and His Word, finding that we have a clear conscience, then if others do react negatively to us (either to our face or behind our back) we can have peace that it is the other person’s critical spirit that is the problem.

If, on the other hand, we have tested ourselves with God’s standards and found we did fall short, we can repent and make a commitment with God to not make the same relational mistake next time. It is a process that takes trial and error. The more time we spend with God and His Word, the more we’ll understand how to relate to others in a Christ-like manner. That is the only route to a clear conscience: through the work of Christ in us, perfecting us.

The other thing to remember when it comes to relationships is that not all people will relate on the same level or attain the same level of intimacy and closeness. This used to bother me. I would be jealous of other women’s friendships with each other, even though I had very dear and close friendships of my own. I actually felt threatened if everyone didn’t choose me as their best friend! Yet, at the same time, I could get quickly overwhelmed with too much social interaction and relational connections!

However, since becoming a Christian God has assured me that the affirmation I craved from people comes from Him now, thus allowing me to relish the close friendships I have with other social introverts at a mutually shared comfort-level of intimacy and interaction, and being grateful for them. 

So even though we won’t “get along” with or form fast friendships with everyone, we can think the best of each other.

Whether we are, ultimately, “liked” or not is not something we can control. Again, the Holy Spirit will guide us in our interactions and all we can do is our best at heeding it. If we are not “liked” by someone, it may be caused by a problem we have in how we have engaged with them, which God can reveal to us. But it may also be that the other person does not “like” us due to their own personal issues which they need to deal with. We best discern the answers when we sit quietly before the Lord, sincerely open to His estimation of us.

In the end, what I’ve found is that it is much fairer to others and freeing to myself if I aim to be Christ-like with everyone (including myself), and remember that we all live in a fallen world. That is why focusing on whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy will cut the umbilical cord to a critical spirit within ourselves and others. We are then free to walk the path of pleasing one person only, the Triune God of Father, Son and Holy Spirit, and being completely content and at peace in His affirming love and security. 

God will not always approve of what we think, say or do, and thankfully, His Holy Spirit will let us know! But God does always love us. Which, in my book and His, is far better than being liked, as great as that is, in this world.

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8