Going Through a Tough Time?

If life is challenging right now (perhaps that is even putting it mildly), then take heart from these verses:

“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:

   ‘My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,

      and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,

   because the Lord disciplines those he loves,

       and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.’

“Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:2-11

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.” James 1:2-5

“Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.” James 1:12

“My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” James 1:19-20

“If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.” James 1:26

“My son, do not despise the LORD’S discipline

and do not resent his rebuke,

because the LORD disciplines those he loves,

as a father the son he delights in.

Blessed is the man who finds wisdom,

the man  who gains understanding,

for she is more profitable than silver

and yields better returns than gold.

She is more precious than rubies;

nothing you desire can compare with her.

Long life is in her right hand;

in her left hand are riches and honor.

Her ways are pleasant ways,

and all her paths are peace.

She is a tree of life to those who embrace her,

those who lay hold of her will be blessed.”  Proverbs 3:11-18

When Married Male Leadership is Absent

During the past 14 years of my Christian walk, I have observed the occasional woman who has desired to grow spiritually alongside her husband, only to be refused. Perhaps it was a group Bible study she wanted herself and her husband to join, or a Bible study they could do together privately as a couple at home. But because the husband did not respond positively to her request, and did not take the lead, the woman also ended her pursuit to study the Bible. In some cases, she never even began reading the Bible, or stopped reading it altogether.

This is a sad, frustrating state of affairs. While some of these same women want to erase gender and be equal to men, they are at the same time clearly showing the desire for male leadership when they wait for their husbands to take the lead in their (the woman’s) own spiritual maturity.

My answer to this is that these women stop waiting for their husbands and go ahead in their Bible study (and application of what they learn) anyway. The hope is that the husband will be drawn into the study at some point, or will see the wife maturing without him and decide to get on board (1 Peter 3:1; 1 Corinthians 7:16). But even if he never does, the woman must not give up. Her accountability is to God, not her husband.

This is the Biblical way. The Bible never says that a woman, or any person, must wait for someone else to take the lead when it comes to Biblical maturation (also known as sanctification). Our walk with Christ after salvation is our own personal responsibility (accomplished, of course, by the power of God’s Spirit and from the reading of His Word and Christ's finished work on the Cross). 

The Bible backs this up:

“Get wisdom, get understanding;

do not forget my words or swerve from them.

Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you;

love her, and she will watch over you.

Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom.

Though it cost all you have, get understanding.

Esteem her, and she will exalt you;

embrace her, and she will honor you.

She will set a garland of grace on your head

and present you with a crown of splendor.” Proverbs 4:5-9

“Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say? I will show you what he is like who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice. He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete.” Luke 6:46-49

“To his own master he stands or falls.” Romans 14:4a

“For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.” Romans 14:7-8

“So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.” Romans 14:12

“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air.” 1 Corinthians 9:24-26

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5

“You were running a good race. Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth?” Galatians 5:7  (I re-phrase this by asking, “Who did we allow to cut in on us....?”)

“Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load.” Galatians 6:4-5

“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.” Galatians 6:7

“Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.” Philippians 2:12-13

For an excellent, brief exposition of this verse, go to http://www.gty.org/blog/B140707/who-is-responsible-for-your-spiritual-growth

“Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

When tempted, no one should say, ‘God is tempting me.’ For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.” James 1:12-18

“Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins.” James 4:17

“His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.

For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” 2 Peter 1:3-8

“Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” 2 Peter 1:10-11

A woman must never underestimate the power of prayer for her husband, along with the complete, trusting and final letting go of her husband into God’s hands accompanied by the humble, God-righteous (never self-righteous or spiritually proud) setting of her own Biblical example.

copyright Barb Harwood

“Rise up; this matter is in your hands...so take courage and do it.” Ezra 10:4, in part

Change that Comes with Aging

As I visited with friends and family over Christmas, I had several conversations with adult children regarding aging parents. Some of these parents have been living in elderly care homes for a while now, some have recently moved into one and others are contemplating it. It’s interesting how some of the aging parents are doing fine with the change (better in some cases than the adult children), while other parents are fighting the change all the way, making life very difficult for their adult children.

It seems as though the ones having the roughest time, be it the adult children or the aged parents, are the ones whose basis for life is the material. Because if life comes down to the house that was lived in for thirty years, then that is sorely going to be clung to and missed when it can no longer be lived in, to the point of rejecting the new residence one finds oneself in.

If, however, the Lord goes with us, then we will be home wherever we are. Not to say that transitions aren’t bittersweet, or at times melancholy, but we, in sincere faith and trust in God, can adjust as God equips us. We must trust in this. I, along with most, do not relish losing any independence, or leaving my house and yard and the memories therewith. Yet God is my hope and my refuge that when and if that day comes, I will go in the guidance of the Shepherd, lacking nothing. I will go, assured that God’s “goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life” (Psalm 23:6a).

Contentment, as we learn from Paul, comes from the Lord. Refuge and strength, as we learn from King David, comes from the Lord. True peace, as we learn from Jesus, comes from Jesus, the Lord. In all places, at all times, in every stage of life, the Lord is our portion (Psalm 73:26).

As a young Girl Scout, volunteering to push the candy cart through what we then called “the old folks home,” I couldn’t imagine a worse place to live. It wasn’t until I visited an elderly facility on an Indian reservation in Arizona a few years ago that I saw what a beautiful place a “home” can be. It was then that God began changing my heart attitude toward places for the elderly.

See, when we are in our 50’s, as many of my friends and I are now, and still full of vitality and vibrant life, it is very difficult for us to think about our parents, much less ourselves, living in an elderly care facility. We say, “That’s no way to live,” as we go about our daily activities, still able to stoop low to wash our own floors and bathtubs, plant tulip bulbs in the fall, and cook our own meals without dropping a heavy skillet. It is difficult for us to see anything good in living in, or, as we tend to say “being put in” a home.

Yet, difficult as it may be to imagine, some day our health may require a move to a home, and it will be a good thing if our mind agrees. Because to be a physical demand on someone who cannot sustain that demand, or to be a worry on the minds of our kids when we could bring them peace that we are, indeed, being looked after around the clock, is actually selfish. Certainly our children need to not be selfish and must do what they can to make their parents comfortable and secure, first in their parents’ own home (or bringing the parent to live with them) and then, when needed, in a reputable care facility.

To the aged, 20-40 years our senior, to those who are infirm or weakening in body and mind, an elderly home may be a welcome retreat. Granted, there are despicable homes and workers therein. It is a disgrace for offspring to be careless and uncaring in where they choose for their parents to live. And it is despicable for government-run facilities for those on a limited income to be afterthoughts and given no consideration or oversight.

What I’m talking about are elderly homes of integrity, many of them Christian, where the residents are well cared for, looked after and respected (and the offspring make sure that this is so and visit often). In these places, life for someone in their last years or days can be a welcome relief: no more worries about not being able to clean their own living space; no more concerns about having to drive or find someone to drive them to the grocery store; no more stress about cooking and forgetting to turn the burner off; and no more fear of intruders taking advantage of their frailty.

The saddest part of living in an elderly home, no doubt, is that of being separated from one’s spouse. But even then, with long visits during the day, there is the knowledge that one is not damaging and stressing the health of their able spouse by one’s own health needs. A good elderly home will allow married couples to be together as much as possible.

A great solution is to have the married couple move into an assisted living apartment where the couple can still live together with all of the accompanying care of a knowledgeable and loving staff. If one spouse can and still wants to cook and clean, they can. But the option is there if they choose not to.

These life changes, though difficult, are also beyond our control, and resisting them will keep us, and our parents, from aging gracefully. The alternative is to face into change, knowing God will not forsake us and will in fact prosper us in new purpose.

 “My grace is sufficient for you,” Jesus tells us, “for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). If we truly believe that, not just as we age, but as we face every hurdle and unwanted change in life, things will go well for us. Aging ourselves and guiding our parents through the process of aging is just another aspect of life in which we faithfully trust God to navigate. To do otherwise is to constantly “kick against the goads” (Acts 26:14). And that, truly, is “no way to live.”

"The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name's sake.
Even though I walk 
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, 
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever." Psalm 23

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26

Thank God I Can't Do It

Every New Year’s Day, for the past 14 years, I have woken up, sober, early, to catch the sun come up and thank God for something He did in my life that I couldn’t do myself: quit drinking.

I have not had a drop in 14 years. And the freedom is delicious.

We’ve all heard about, and I have been blessed to personally live, the victory in Jesus over addiction. Some ask, as I have, why some folks tend to find this victory and others do not? This is a mystery. I posit that for some, their “bottom” is just much lower than others. For some, even losing their jobs and families doesn’t seem to have any impact, or they turn into victims rather than contrite accepters of their own role in their sorry state.

Whatever the addiction, the answer is the same. Whatever the upbringing, the answer to finally growing up is the same. Whatever the school of hard knocks we’ve attended, the answer is the same. And that answer is this: we must agree with God regarding the sin He points out to us. And we must have a relationship with Christ and we must cooperate with His Word and Holy Spirit regarding our emotional, physical, mental and spiritual maturity. We cannot agree with God on anything if we don’t know what He is expecting of us, and why He’s expecting it. We can’t get right with ourself or others without first getting right with God.

Paul, in 2 Corinthians 12:9, quotes the Lord’s words to him when he writes, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Do we believe that?

First, do we believe with our hearts, minds, body and soul that we are weak? I couldn’t stop drinking when I believed I was strong enough to do it myself. Only through trying to quit in my own enlightened power and failing did God show me my weakness, and thus I was made strong in Him.

Paul goes on to write, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” Now, this is not the kind of navel gazing “boasting” I wrote about in an earlier blog post, where we sit around in share groups and lament our ongoing sin over and over again. No. This boasting is the floodlight that illuminates our weakness to do anything good without God. We can be self-righteous and continue to fail, or we can receive the righteousness of God in us through the work of Christ and His Holy Spirit, which He gives. This Holy Spirit is the quiet voice we sometimes despise to hear, but in the end love to hear because it guides us every time. It does not scream as loudly as the beer, or the cocaine, or the online shopping site. The Holy Spirit is a guide, and a guide does not strong arm. This is a mystery.

It takes complete agreement: heart, soul, body and mind to obey the Holy Spirit’s direction from God to stop sinning. To stop drinking, we must agree 100% with God that drinking for us is a sin. Note how I said “for us.” Many people continue in their sin because it is not a sin for everyone. So therefore, they conclude, it is not a sin for them. But the Holy Spirit will be the judge of that. And we all know. Deep inside, we all know that when Grandma Ruth drinks a sip, she isn’t sinning because she will stop at one drink. But is drinking a sin for me?

We all know that when our best friend goes shopping, she isn’t sinning; she hates shopping and will buy what she needs and leave the store and not go in again until she absolutely has to. Shopping has no hold on her. But is shopping a sin for me?

We all know that when a relative comes to us with a personal problem, they are not in sin with gossip, because this person always speaks with integrity. On this day, they need someone to talk to, and we can trust that our conversation will be held in the strictest confidentiality. For the person who struggles with the sin of gossip, everything and everyone in their life is fodder for endless rumination and drama. They wouldn’t know confidentiality if it bit them on the nose. Is gossip a sin for me?

We aren’t to look at what is a sin, or not, for others, and live our lives on that basis. If addiction is cutting off our circulation to a vibrant life, we might want to ask ourselves, “What is a sin for me?” And then agree with God that indeed, He is right. It is a sin for me. That is the turning of the page into freedom from addiction: full agreement with God is always where we must begin.

Christ’s power rests on us when we admit our weakness simply because then we also admit His power. We allow His power to take the place of the false power of thinking “I can do anything.” When we understand and agree that we have no power (which should be pretty easy, actually, when we see that our years of trying to quit drinking has gotten us no where), it is then we can turn to Christ to fill the void left by the deception that we had any power to begin with. Christ’s power is made perfect in weakness when we admit the weakness is there! And that He is the power, not us.

Many Christians are waiting for God to strong arm them and take away their addictions like a mother grabs a sharp stick out of a child’s hand. And yet, they are waiting double-mindedly, not in complete agreement that they want this sin gone. If even 1% of me is not in agreement with God about my sin, I believe I am still in agreement with myself about that sin and it will not go away because I'm not letting it.

Only when I agreed with God 100%: heart, mind, body and soul, that drinking for me was a sin, did God change my heart and remove the desire for alcohol. And He has done it with numerous other sins in my life, and continues to do so.

As long as we are holding onto some aspect of our sin, then known sin will remain and be victorious over us. We are in cahoots with the flesh and the devil, not God.

But when we see our weakness as the way to Christ working in our lives to remove sin, in complete agreement with Christ’s estimation of our sin, we will, like Paul, boast in this weakness because it is the way to Christ’s lasting victory over sin in us.

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” 2 Corinthian 17-18

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” 2 Corinthians 5:17

Thankful for the Old Year, Grateful for the New

"Now, our God, we give you thanks, and praise your glorious name." 1 Chronicles 29:13