There cannot be peace in a family until Christ is the
fullness of each individual heart and mind.
“What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is
not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members? You lust and do
not have; so you commit murder. You are envious and cannot obtain; so you fight
and quarrel.” James 4:1-2a
“But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, ‘GOD IS
OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE.’ Submit therefore to God.
Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw
near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you
double-minded.” James 4:6-8
That doesn’t mean we are in sudden agreement with those with
whom we interact. It means that we can have peace as we sort out our differences.
This is true for all relationships.
As long as we are reserving room in our heart and mind to be
filled by anyone or anything other than Christ, we will not have peace in our
relationships.
Instead, we will fret.
“Why are you in despair, O my soul?
And why are you disturbed within me?” Psalm 43:5a
We will be on the defense.
“for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of
God.” James 1:20
We will be on the offense.
“Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye but
do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” Matthew 7:3
We will need to control.
“Now I urge you, brethren, keep your eye on those who cause
dissensions and hindrances contrary to the teaching which you learned, and turn
away from them. For such men are slaves, not of our Lord Christ but of their
own appetites;” Romans 16:17-18a
Without full submission to Christ in every moment, then arguments,
disappointments, and misunderstandings will derail us.
But when Christ is obeyed, although we still
have differences of opinion, disappointments and misunderstandings, they
do not derail us.
“Therefore, I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk
in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all
humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in
love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”
Ephesians 4:1-3
Until we get that—until we internalize and thirst for that,
and incorporate the reality of the indwelling of Christ into every fiber
of our being—then our families and relationships will continue to be overcome by
dysfunction, despair, tension and disunity.
The temptation to enter into dysfunction will never go away.
But with Christ, that temptation is immediately overcome.
“Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he
does not fall. No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man;
and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are
able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you
will be able to endure it.” 1 Corinthians 10:12-13
“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
Romans 12:21
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