Not Everyone is a Malcontent

In the course of each and every day, we will run into or continue to be forced to interact with, malcontents.

But each and every day we will also run into or continue to interact with people who are not.

When we think about our world—or life in general—if we ask ourselves what tends to hold the place of immediacy in our thoughts, many of us will answer that it is the person who is a thorn in our side: the boss, the sibling, the spouse, the neighbor, the guy on the other end of the telephone who is giving us the run around.

But, what about the bank teller we deal with on a weekly basis that is kind, with a terrific sense of humor, who provides instant help on an issue we aren’t clear on?

What about the co-worker who is dependable and accurate, and not a drama queen?

What about the jovial mailman who faithfully delivers our correspondence and Amazon packages to our door every day, with a wave and a smile?

What about all the people who do not shove their politics, do not self-promote, do not one-up, do not backstab, do not play favorites, and do not respond with sour grapes to someone’s good news?

What about them?

One of the ways the world remains fallen but doesn’t have to is when we put the “Negative Nellies” on the pedestal of life, abdicating those who are kind, quiet, gentle and warm to the cellar where they are forgotten or never even noticed.

What if we switched gears?

What if we simply decide to refuse to take (internalize, dwell on or react defensively to) someone else’s jealousies, animosities, gossip, political partisanship, and ad nauseam critical commentaries, and instead choose to internalize the wave and the smile from the postman?

What if we reminisced about last Sunday’s brunch with friends where we mutually “oohed and ahhhed” over travel stories and photos instead of ruminating on that self-centered off-hand remark by a colleague?

What if we hung onto the words of well-wishers to our success instead of the silent scowl emanating from the person who cannot affirm anyone due to their own self-preoccupation and insecurities?

And what if we, in turn, by desiring to notice whatever is true, right, honorable, pure, lovely and of good repute (Philippians 4:8) join those who already exhibit those qualities by exhibiting them ourselves?

So we become the affirmer in someone else’s bad day, the encouragement to someone’s having just been knocked down, the person of acceptance when someone has made an honest mistake.

What if we were the person of long-suffering patience and forgiveness in a world of white-knuckle grudge-holding and keeping score? What if we allowed someone to sincerely turn over a new leaf and received him or her in that metamorphosis? 

By living this way, we will not, I assure you, remove the naysayers and sourpusses.

Unfortunately, we will still work with overbearing bosses, control freaks and gossips. We will continue to live next door to busybodies and neatniks who despise our dandelions.

We will not eradicate those who live life on a transactional, tit-for-tat basis.

What we will do is notice, embrace and make it a point to interact with the courteous, the joyous, the down to earth, the ones who persevere with a humble attitude, and those who acknowledge the existence of others with warmth and selfless interest.

Because, what I’m finding, as I shift my own vision away from the toxic, is that the felicitous and endearing exist! They are out there!

They are already in our offices, apartment communities, cities and the places we frequent.

We just need to start noticing them and giving them more weight than we do the “downers.”

Some people are villainous due to their inner dysfunction. They hurt and are lost. We must train ourselves to see this too, in order not to write people off. Seeing them for who they really are, we can, in the strength of the Holy Spirit and Christ’s love for us, grow compassion for them.

Our sorrow over their vitriolic state is what will enable us to stop giving them control over our attitude, outlook and emotions.

Although we are to heed constructive criticism from people of integrity, we are not to internalize the jibs and jabs of people who are merely disgruntled with themselves.

This becomes easier when we turn our minds and hearts to those who are not disgruntled; to those who are not resentful; to those who are not out to get us. And in turn, we, with God’s help in searching our hearts, examine and eradicate the malevolence that exists within ourselves.

The genuine, thoughtful and gracious are out there, confirming our confidence in God’s creation that, yes, although all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23) He did create us and called us good (Genesis). Not innately, humanly good, due to sin. But we have the potential for good because of God’s fingerprint upon us.

“...because that which is evident about God is evident within them; for God made it evident to them. For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse. For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened.” (Romans 1:19-21)

If we want more of God’s kind of people in the world, we first need to be that person. Secondly, we do well to notice and cherish those who already are living out godly attributes.

I’m discovering that they aren’t that difficult to find.

Copyright Barb Harwood

“Now, therefore, fear the LORD and serve Him in sincerity and truth; and put away the gods which your fathers served beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the LORD. If it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served which were beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.” Joshua 24:14-15

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things...practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” Philippians 4:4-8; 9b