What Do We Do With Ourselves When Confronted With Our Narcissism?

What do we do when we see—when it actually dawns on us—that we are narcissists? 

That we are self-centered? 

That we have operated out of our own internal worldview, created and endorsed by us?

What do we do when we perceive that we are not, in fact, compassionate purveyors of "kumbaya" towards everyone? That the very next words spoken, after thinking ourselves so kind and tolerant, are that of calling people names, deriding them, and criticizing them out of conceit or personal offense?

Who is it we are actually kind to? Who is it we are actually being all-inclusive of? Who is it we are thinking of when we say we love everyone?

Usually, it is us and our idealized version of ourself.

When this realization settles in—we, like Isaiah, cry out, “Woe to me! I am ruined!” 

As we are confronted with the truth about ourselves, what are we to do? 

Isaiah did this: he allowed one of the seraphim to touch his mouth with a live coal from the altar of the Lord:

“With it he touched my mouth and said, ‘See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for” (Isaiah 6:7).

This could only happen because Isaiah had seen “the King, the LORD Almighty” (Isaiah 6:5b).

When we see the King, in his truth, and in a contrition and  humility set upon us by Him, we will indeed come to the end of ourselves and will know our sin, and thus, our woefulness. 

But through our lowliness of acknowledging our true status, and repenting in overwhelming love for Jesus Christ, we are then cleansed; made new; washed as white as snow. 

When sin confronts us, we give ourselves to Christ. We do it the first time, which leads to salvation, and then, as He purifies us during our walk with Him, again and again. 

We grow more sensitive to sin as we grow in relationship with Christ, so we sin less. 

But the sin that remains, or new sin that rises to the surface, continues to be taken to Christ, in sincere agreement with Him that in this sin I am woeful and unclean, and only Christ can purify me from it.

This is how we are then sent out into the world: cleansed now of repented-for and no-longer-indulged-in-sin, able to see, with Christ’s eyes, other people, their circumstances, their worldview, their longings, their joys, their fears, and their need for affirmation. 

We will have compassion on those who live as they do because they are lost—they are without Christ, and they are without Christ for the same reason we once were without Christ: personal pride that blocked our vision of anyone and anything but ourselves.

We will see others with the eyes of Christ and thus, love others with the love of Christ.

That is why He came. 

Copyright Barb Harwood