Sometimes, we investigate in order to convince ourselves that we do not believe what we really believe.
That agendized investigation can go on for days, months, and years, ultimately becoming a lifestyle, worldview and identity, never finding the refutation we are looking for, but hoping beyond conviction that, in the end, we can be right—we can be right that what we truly believe deep within ourselves is wrong and untrue.
We prioritize this need to be right against the acceptance of what is, actually, right.
We are Jonah running away from Nineveh and falling into the mouth of futility. All to protect our ego from having to acknowledge it is not, in fact, in charge.
God, who enabled our very person to exist with free will, has planned it so that futility will spit us up, toss us onto dead-ends, and swallow us again and again until we see God's way to Nineveh, and go.
Copyright Barb Harwood
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