Not Everyone is a Malcontent

In the course of each and every day, we will run into or continue to be forced to interact with, malcontents.

But each and every day we will also run into or continue to interact with people who are not.

When we think about our world—or life in general—if we ask ourselves what tends to hold the place of immediacy in our thoughts, many of us will answer that it is the person who is a thorn in our side: the boss, the sibling, the spouse, the neighbor, the guy on the other end of the telephone who is giving us the run around.

But, what about the bank teller we deal with on a weekly basis that is kind, with a terrific sense of humor, who provides instant help on an issue we aren’t clear on?

What about the co-worker who is dependable and accurate, and not a drama queen?

What about the jovial mailman who faithfully delivers our correspondence and Amazon packages to our door every day, with a wave and a smile?

What about all the people who do not shove their politics, do not self-promote, do not one-up, do not backstab, do not play favorites, and do not respond with sour grapes to someone’s good news?

What about them?

One of the ways the world remains fallen but doesn’t have to is when we put the “Negative Nellies” on the pedestal of life, abdicating those who are kind, quiet, gentle and warm to the cellar where they are forgotten or never even noticed.

What if we switched gears?

What if we simply decide to refuse to take (internalize, dwell on or react defensively to) someone else’s jealousies, animosities, gossip, political partisanship, and ad nauseam critical commentaries, and instead choose to internalize the wave and the smile from the postman?

What if we reminisced about last Sunday’s brunch with friends where we mutually “oohed and ahhhed” over travel stories and photos instead of ruminating on that self-centered off-hand remark by a colleague?

What if we hung onto the words of well-wishers to our success instead of the silent scowl emanating from the person who cannot affirm anyone due to their own self-preoccupation and insecurities?

And what if we, in turn, by desiring to notice whatever is true, right, honorable, pure, lovely and of good repute (Philippians 4:8) join those who already exhibit those qualities by exhibiting them ourselves?

So we become the affirmer in someone else’s bad day, the encouragement to someone’s having just been knocked down, the person of acceptance when someone has made an honest mistake.

What if we were the person of long-suffering patience and forgiveness in a world of white-knuckle grudge-holding and keeping score? What if we allowed someone to sincerely turn over a new leaf and received him or her in that metamorphosis? 

By living this way, we will not, I assure you, remove the naysayers and sourpusses.

Unfortunately, we will still work with overbearing bosses, control freaks and gossips. We will continue to live next door to busybodies and neatniks who despise our dandelions.

We will not eradicate those who live life on a transactional, tit-for-tat basis.

What we will do is notice, embrace and make it a point to interact with the courteous, the joyous, the down to earth, the ones who persevere with a humble attitude, and those who acknowledge the existence of others with warmth and selfless interest.

Because, what I’m finding, as I shift my own vision away from the toxic, is that the felicitous and endearing exist! They are out there!

They are already in our offices, apartment communities, cities and the places we frequent.

We just need to start noticing them and giving them more weight than we do the “downers.”

Some people are villainous due to their inner dysfunction. They hurt and are lost. We must train ourselves to see this too, in order not to write people off. Seeing them for who they really are, we can, in the strength of the Holy Spirit and Christ’s love for us, grow compassion for them.

Our sorrow over their vitriolic state is what will enable us to stop giving them control over our attitude, outlook and emotions.

Although we are to heed constructive criticism from people of integrity, we are not to internalize the jibs and jabs of people who are merely disgruntled with themselves.

This becomes easier when we turn our minds and hearts to those who are not disgruntled; to those who are not resentful; to those who are not out to get us. And in turn, we, with God’s help in searching our hearts, examine and eradicate the malevolence that exists within ourselves.

The genuine, thoughtful and gracious are out there, confirming our confidence in God’s creation that, yes, although all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23) He did create us and called us good (Genesis). Not innately, humanly good, due to sin. But we have the potential for good because of God’s fingerprint upon us.

“...because that which is evident about God is evident within them; for God made it evident to them. For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse. For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened.” (Romans 1:19-21)

If we want more of God’s kind of people in the world, we first need to be that person. Secondly, we do well to notice and cherish those who already are living out godly attributes.

I’m discovering that they aren’t that difficult to find.

Copyright Barb Harwood

“Now, therefore, fear the LORD and serve Him in sincerity and truth; and put away the gods which your fathers served beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the LORD. If it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served which were beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.” Joshua 24:14-15

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things...practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” Philippians 4:4-8; 9b

Is Everything in Life Specifically Orchestrated by God?

Some people have a Magic Eight Ball perspective of God. 

If we get a parking spot, we "see God’s hand in it."

If we sign a lease for the apartment, God wants us to live there and not at the other place we were considering. 

If a wonderful neighbor moves in next door, God specifically singled them out and brought them there. 

If Fred gets fired from his job, and uses his time off from work to go on mission trips, then God wanted him to get fired so that the Lord’s work could proceed.

Is that always the case?

Is God up there, micro-managing our every move, closing and opening doors as if we were in a constantly reconfigured maze?

As I contemplated this, I went to Scripture to see how God’s directing of outcomes might work.

And I found, in numerous verses, the connection between our growing maturity in Christ—the turning away from sinful attitudes and motivations—and the directing of our steps:

“How blessed are those whose way is blameless,

Who walk in the law of the LORD.

How blessed are those who observe His testimonies,

Who seek Him with all their heart,

They also do no unrighteousness;

They walk in His ways.” Psalm 119:1-3

“His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.

For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” 2 Peter 1:3-8

So if Fred loses his job, isn’t it highly likely that it is his spiritual maturity that is allowing him to not be downcast but to instead find something positive to do while he is looking for another job or figuring out next steps? 

Isn’t his living out of 2 Peter what brought about his decision to go on a mission trip? And would Fred have been just as in the will of God if he had volunteered at a secular charity or if he had offered to babysit his grandchildren once a week?

Wouldn’t God have indeed been in all of those choices?

My point is, so many of us get fixated upon, and often stymied, by this idea of putting our finger on GOD’S ONE THING for us: be it that ONE spouse, that ONE city, that ONE ministry. The truth is, I don’t believe there is a ONE THING.

I do, however, believe there is personal sanctification that is always God’s will for us, with everything else in life flowing out of that.

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2

In 1 Thessalonians 5:21-22 we are told to “test everything, hold fast what is good. Abstain from every form of evil.”

That verse continues on:

“Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it” (Thessalonians 5:23-24).

I have heard the above Thessalonians verses used in prayers for specific outcomes:

“Lord, send us the funds we need. You are calling us to this work, and we know you’ll do it.”

We need to comprehend what these verses are actually “calling” us to: not to a specific mission field, not to a mate, not to a church plant, not to passing the exam, but to God’s sanctification and to be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is faithful to do that; that He surely will do!

See, if we miss this point and jump to the word “call” and the phrase “he will surely do it,” we may not pray for His call to our sanctification and to our need to keep ourselves intent on living out our spiritual maturity until the day of Christ.

In other words, I don’t believe God is as interested in what country we carry the Gospel to, or what Godly person we marry, or what Christian organization we serve with, as He is with our spirit, soul, mind and body becoming spiritually mature.

So if God directs, it is because a clear conscience and a blessed life comes about at God’s hand, but not with us as automatons, and not simply because we have confessed Christ as Savior.

It is because, as fully submitted believers to Christ (not to a church, not to a belief—but to Christ alone) we will then seek Him with all of our heart, with all of our mind, with all of our soul, and with all of our strength. And that seeking is for His righteousness, not for whether we should live in apartment A or B, or whether we found a parking spot just when we needed it.

copyright Barb Harwood

Heart AND Head

To be all heart and no head is not Biblical.

Many folks will say they have a “heart” for such and such, or that God spoke to their “heart.”

It’s easy “Christian-speak” to fall into, especially if one is a new believer in the evangelical fold.

My response to these “heart” statements is,

“Do you also have a mind for such and such?”

and

“Did God also speak to your brain?”

All heart can be illogical, yes—even in God’s economy (some people seem to think that all ministry must make no sense in order for them to do it—it seems more “radical,” sacrificial and spiritual to them).

Yet God, in His magnificence, did give us these little things in our heads called thinking caps, stitched together with brain cells.

And so this notion that we are to tie the love and serving of God with heart alone, and that to hear from God means to hear with our heart only, is to miss completely His warnings on how the heart can mislead, and how we must not give our hearts “carte blanche” simply because they are our hearts and our feelings are strong:

“The heart is more deceitful than all else

And is desperately sick;

Who can understand it?

‘I, the LORD, search the heart,

I test the mind,

Even to give to each man according to his ways,

According to the results of his deeds.’” Jeremiah 17:9-10

“Examine me, O LORD, and try me;

Test my mind and my heart.” Psalm 26:2

“A person may think their own ways are right,

but the LORD weighs the heart.” Proverbs 21:2

God’s call to wisdom and knowledge is often tossed aside—or never learned to begin with—due to our desire to do what we want and cloak the go-ahead in a heart-shaped confirmation from God.

But God may indeed not approve, or at minimum, may not have unequivocally called us to the thing we are “feeling” (meaning there may be many Godly options; therefore, if a spouse or some other concern may challenge our emotional surety, then we need to reconsider and not forge ahead. We need to seek and honor the counsel, Godly wisdom and input of others and begin to perceive the Spirit’s inner Godly logic):

“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes,

But a wise man is he who listens to counsel.” Proverbs 12:15

“He who gets wisdom loves his own soul;

He who keeps understanding will find good.” Proverbs 19:8

“Listen to counsel and accept discipline,

That you may be wise the rest of your days.” Proverbs 19:20

“Many plans are in a man’s heart,

But the counsel of the LORD will stand.” Proverbs 19:21

“And He, when He comes, will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment;” John 16:8

“But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth; for He will not speak on His own initiative, but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will disclose to you what is to come. He will glorify Me, for He will take of Mine and will disclose it to you.” John 16:13-14

God calls us to grow in and rely upon His wisdom and knowledge in all of our decisions and attitudes—in all aspects of life.

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2

“But we have the mind of Christ.” 1 Corinthians 2:16b

“His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” 2 Peter 1:3

“For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge;” 2 Peter 1:5

“But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” 2 Peter 3:18a

In this way, we trust in the Lord with all of our heart while yet not leaning on our own understanding (Proverbs 3:5).

A heart informed by our increasing Biblical knowledge and the daily application of a growing spiritual maturity—in all situations and with all people—will not lead us astray. 

We will be able to incorporate the wise discernment God desires, being shrewd as serpents but at the same time as innocent as doves (Matthew 10:16). 

We can then attain the steadfast consistency where the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard our hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7).

Copyright Barb Harwood

The Danger of Blaming "Spiritual Attack"

I have perceived an unsettling component within evangelicalism that blames Satan and “spiritual attack” for what is actually life simply not going our way.

See, when Christians fall into the delusion that just because they want something then God must certainly want it for them too, then, when they don’t get what they want, they blame Satan for attacking them.

Or when the normal ups and downs of life—common to all—happen, such as sickness, the car breaking down, or not having an offer-to-purchase accepted on their dream home, these same Christians believe they are being specifically singled out and persecuted by the devil.

Did you ever meet folks who, when you ask them how they are doing, consistently answer that they are under “spiritual attack?” It can go on for years: the loss of a job, difficulties with co-workers, a struggling marriage, a teen child’s drug use—all of it is automatically attributed to “spiritual attack.” And this form of spiritual attack is always worse for them than for anyone else.

With this mindset, people become un-accountable.

They fail to see their own culpability in why life may have taken the turn that it has, and are blind to their own faults (and when it comes to their offspring, they may disregard poor behavior by attributing it to Satanic attack). Satan becomes a simplistic and pat explanation, letting folks off the hook to ever having to mature or work with God on the purification of a corrupt heart.

In short, they can be the Christians in shining armor who are always right and everyone and everything else is always wrong.

The website Gotquestions.org sums it up beautifully:

“The devil is absolutely worthy of blame for much of the evil in the world, but using the devil as a scapegoat for our own sinful choices is counterproductive to achieving victory over sin.”

And what about those times that we don’t get what we desire simply because that’s the way life goes? That our sin, per se, had nothing to do with it? To what do we attribute that if it isn’t Satan?

Well, it could be a result of someone else’s spiritual immaturity. Or it could be a result of natural occurrences, such as weather or illness. It could be that another candidate for the job we are applying for is simply more qualified or a better fit for the company than we are—no sin is involved; that’s just the way it is.

Same for missing out on the dream home: another buyer has fewer contingencies so they get the house. No one is out to get us—it’s just a fact that when there is one job and many applicants, or one house and many offers, only one person can be the receiver.

If we come away from these life experiences self-righteously convinced we are under “spiritual attack,” we are demeaning others (concluding they are unworthy of what they have received) and promoting ourselves above them.

Scripture would advise,

“Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for you own personal interests, but also for the interests of others (Philippians 2:1-4).

Scripture gives the reason why we selfishly allow our own personal interests to take precedence, leading us into unrealistic or untrue assessments of other people and situations:

“But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust” (James 1:14).

Do we get this?

Do we see how futile it is to take everything in life that doesn’t go our way as a personal affront and coming at the hand of the devil himself?

We may indeed be worthy of something, but so might others; we might be a wonderful person for a job, but so might others; we might want to own that home, but so might others.

As Christians, we must take our defeats—our not getting what we want, our worldly losses that are other peoples’ wins—in grace. To do otherwise—to play the ceaseless casualty of Satan—is to lift him above God.

Scripture is clear:

“You are from God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world” (1 John 4:4).

copyright Barb Harwood