I used to be a "Christmas Presbyterian": only attended church on Christmas Eve for the 7 p.m. candlelight service. This is known as the “C” in the “C and E” Christian moniker: those who attend church only on Christmas and Easter.
Then I became a mom, and began the obligation-motivated attendance of corporate church so as to “expose my children to religion.”
Then I moved to a new town, began attending a couple of churches, and became born again in Christ—not because of one church but because of the work of God on my person that included my connecting with a Bible study through a corporate church (a church which has since been through two implosions. I’ll get to that later).
Then, as a newby born-again, I took it upon myself to adopt the view that “C and E Christians” were lacking, in a big way.
I arrived at this conclusion for two reasons: one, because that’s what I myself had been as a “C and E” church-goer and second, because, in my new Christian social groups, it was heralded as probably thee highest calling and therefore mark of a “true” Christian to attend church—not just occasionally or at the high holidays, but every Sunday (in some congregations, twice on Sunday) and then again on Wednesday nights.
I understand my wanting to give back to God through church attendance—thinking I could give back to God that way:
“Look,” I told myself, “at all that God has done for me!”
At that point, I didn’t know any better.
Since then, I have come to marvel in humble gratefulness at God’s mercy and grace towards and upon me, quoting often David in 2 Samuel 7:18:
“Who am I, O Lord GOD, and what is my house, that you have brought me this far?”
Thankfully, I now know that there is nothing I can do to complete this transaction with God.
This realization is where I positively turned the corner.
Many years of church involvement later—including the attending of Christian seminary—God continues that broad place of discernment and the ability to decide in my own heart and mind (Romans 14)—counseled by His Spirit and authority—that the number of times a person attends church per week, or whether they attend at all, is neither here nor there with me. And it has never been more confirmed that it is neither here nor there with God either.
“Therefore what you worship in ignorance, this I proclaim to you. The God who made the world and all things in it, since He is Lord of heaven and earth, does not dwell in temples made with hands; nor is He served by human hands, as though He needed anything, since He Himself gives to all people life and breath and all things; and He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their habitation, that they would seek God, if perhaps they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us; for in Him we live and move and exist, as even some of your own poets have said, ‘For we also are his children.’ Being then the children of God, we ought not to think that the Divine Nature is like gold or silver or stone, an image formed by the art and thought of man. Therefore, having overlooked the times of ignorance, God is now declaring to men that all people everywhere should repent, because He has fixed a day in which He will judge the world in righteousness through a Man whom He has appointed, having furnished proof to all men by raising Him from the dead” (Acts 17:23b-31).
Church can provide vision, no doubt.
But it can also, as it did me, cause people to miss the Christian forest for the religious tree.
After 19 years of living Christianity as a saved Christian, growing in the knowledge of the Lord, I have observed that those who attend church are often no better off in spiritual maturity than the next person, and, in fact, are often stilted in their growth by that very church attendance.
I know I was.
Yes, the act of church helped in some ways (I am choosing to keep the active works of charity separate from this discussion of church attendance and its implied and promoted automatic connection with inner transformation and faith).
Again, I am not advocating that people not go to church, or that they stop going.
If church is working out in the lovely ways I know it has and continues to do for so many, with obvious transformation in their spiritual maturity, then I would posit that those folks already have a solid foundation in Christ, not dependent upon their church or the attendance thereof.
But for many others, such as myself, church became a crutch, a “Well, at least I went to church this Sunday” excuse for lazy or poser Christian living every other day of the week.
My churchy activities and the whirlwind of busyness in that capacity were the very thing I used to justify my failure to faithfully and intentionally apply what I was reading in Scripture to my inner thoughts and attitudes. It is those attitudes which in turn produce undesirable reactions and behaviors, in which, at the time, I was excelling.
And then there was the near-militant, peer-pressured atmosphere of denominational or evangelical church-sermon preaching, and the congregation that hungrily and apparently unquestioningly ate up.
So if, for example, one is in a liberal church, one must sit through and subscribe to, not a sermon on holiness, but a political diatribe, often stamped as a call to “social justice.”
If in a conservative church, one must listen to a repeated lament of the “culture” and feel compelled to join “small group” studies of books written by the latest evangelical pop author.
And then, after all of that, inevitably the church of one’s attendance implodes internally, either closing down entirely or breaking off into factions. The members “leave” the church and maybe start or join a new one more to their liking, or forgo corporate church altogether.
Many Christians have told me,
“No place or church is perfect.”
Yes, that is true, but why is it that in my own personal experience—either witnessing or hearing about it from close friends—that the Christian church contains the same, and often more, dissension and pride than secular organizations?
It dawned on me that I didn’t have to look too far for the answer:
Me and people like me, dependent upon church to make them Christian, forgoing the personal investment of walking and being discipled one-on-one by God through Jesus Christ and His Spirit.
So there I was, this avid church-goer, loyal to the corporate church but not to Jesus; intent on making a fine and gregarious appearance every Sunday, but failing to tow that same line at home, or in my daily attitudes.
I had uncovered the crux of the problem: the incessant, time-honored compartmentalization of church that says:
“I can be ‘Christian’ for a few hours on Sunday, and then I’m ‘good to go.’”
Well, I wasn’t good to go, and must’ve sensed it all along, because I was not at peace or comfortable in corporate church, nor was I content with my outside life, even though I was a Christian.
The joke was on me, but I was finally done fooling myself.
So I left church behind and began the spiritually and life-affirming adventure to live sequestered from religion in general and church in particular.
Again, if the person reading this has a totally different—positive—track record with church—I accept and acknowledge that.
What I aim to flesh out here is the very large, yet ignored, elephant in the room that the mere concept and existence of corporate church, handed down in its pretty-much unchallenged format for hundreds of years, is not the litmus test for determining and estimating anybody’s faith or dedication to and belief in God and Christ.
In short, the curated standard of Christendom—the church and its authority over and grip upon people of faith—ought not to be the standard and was never intended by God to be.
Jesus and the living out daily of His walk, regardless of whether we ever set foot in a church, is the Gospel, the only standard.
Church—the denomination we align with, the building we sit and perhaps even flourish in, in spite of its many beneficial (as well as detrimental) aspects, is in no way a reflection of or determiner at all of our actual character, integrity, compassion or wisdom.
We are not made “good people” through the osmosis of church.
Coming to this place of honesty with myself and God, I could unabashedly admit that all of my church attendance, Sunday school teaching, committee memberships, and participation in church programming, was a facade.
I had been focused on church in lieu of how to actually read Scripture, mature in Christ and be increasingly transformed away from the sinner that I am.
So this Christmas, I, with a very clear conscience before God and man, join with the “C” Christmas Christians (and seekers and wanderers), to worship and celebrate, inside of a church, once a year, that all is well with my soul because Jesus was born there.
Jesus was born: Not in a church. Not in a pastor. Not in a creed. Not in a law. Not in a synod. Not in a denomination. But outside of all of that.
Inside of us.
As a baby, raised up by God to be the Savior.
Of me and of you.
No mediator.
No building.
No membership class to take first.
Free.
For the taking.
His gift to each one of us. Here and now. Between us and Him.
That simple.
Jesus.
Lord of Lords.
King of Kings.
Wonderful Counselor.
Mighty God.
Everlasting Father.
Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6).
Copyright Barb Harwood
