Wednesday, November 21, 2018

How Not to be Swept Away in Conversations



Have you ever found yourself saying something that, as soon as you said it, realized it went against your walk with Christ?

The book of James is the place to go for refueling:

“If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless” (James 1:26).

Wow. Pretty motivating, isn’t it, to clean up our conversational act?

But how do we do that? More pertinently, how do we do that, in the moment, in the actual real-time throes of a conversation? In other words, how do we prevent ourselves from getting swept along by the current of conversation around us?

First of all, we agree with God that any conversation containing or instigating gossip, self-promotion, cursing, bitterness, pejorative joking, whining, maligning, falsities and exaggeration are sin.

And then we live out that agreement with God by being watchful and attuned so that the minute untoward statements are made by others (or by ourselves), we immediately hear the Holy Spirit’s pricking of our conscience to stop and don’t go there

Think of Gene Wilder’s Willy Wonka as he calmly and quietly warns the little boy with “Stop. Don’t. Come back.”  

Or think of the slogan, “Stranger Danger.” For us, it is “Slander Danger: damage is about to take place with the tongue, either mine, or someone else’s!” 

Or think of the advice we give young people: “Decide before you go to the party what you will do if drugs and alcohol are being used: know that you will not participate before you go to the party.”

We can do these same things with ourselves regarding our tongue: Know what constitutes sinful conversation; agree that it is sinful; live out our agreement by being “sober minded and alert” (1 Peter 5:8); pray before social activities that we will not sin with our mouth or engage in the sinful talk of others; and make a commitment to God that we will not “go there” in conversations.

In this way, we can, indeed, keep a  “tight rein on our tongue.” 

But alas, it is a battle. And battles are ugly. And take time. And so it is with us. 

“We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check” (Jame 3:2).

“…no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison” (James 3:8).

We often fail with our tongues because we do not see our failure as losing a spiritual battle:

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm” (Ephesians 6:10-13).

Once we realize that the reason we can’t put a rein on our tongue is because we have been trying to do it in our own power, then half the battle is already won!

But God is the one who girds us for victory in the battle, not us. 

“No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it” (1 Corinthians 10:13).

Notice this verse says that to fight off temptation is to endure. Endure the temptation by relying on the Spirit’s resisting it within us; don’t indulge the temptation!

But what we so often do is cave in: because—let’s be totally honest—it is easier from a human perspective, and feels better--to give in, or to not see conversation as a temptation to sin in the first place! 

But as we grow in Christ, if we are truly growing in the knowledge of the Lord Jesus as the Bible commands us (2 Peter 3:18), we will become increasingly sensitive to all sin, including the sin of the tongue.

And so we must sit there, in a room full of conversationalists, chomping at the bit to contribute our two cents worth to a sinful conversation, and not do it; not contribute. 

We must endure, not indulge, the temptation. 

And we can endure, and we will, because God says, right there in 1 Corinthians 10:13, that He will provide the way of escape. 

Okay, so the question then is, “Will we take it? Will we take the way of escape He gives?” 

If we say “No, I won’t,” then we will sin with our tongue.

If we say, “Yes, I will,” then we won’t sin with our tongue.

And saying “yes” means putting on the “full armor of God” that we just read about in Ephesians 6:10-13.

What is that armor that causes us to stand firm against sin?

God’s truth, the breastplate of His righteousness, His Gospel of peace, and the “shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God” (the full verse is found in Ephesians 6:10-17). 

In this, we can “be on the alert with all perseverance and petition” in the Spirit (Ephesians 6:18).

This is our life preserver; our paddle to hold firmly against the current of unwholesome talk. This is God’s navigation of us to His “quiet waters;” His “paths of righteousness for His name’s sake” (Psalm 23).

Because, in the end, isn’t that what we’re all about: God’s name? God’s glory? His sake?

If we understand that nothing is any longer about us, and everything is only about God in Christ, then it will be a privilege to not sully His name with our unfit-for-His-kingdom conversation. 



Copyright Barb Harwood





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