I Am With You Always

I think God takes us through stages, keeps us there for a time, and then nudges us to move on when we’ve learned what it’s been best for us to learn.

How else can we explain the 20/20 vision we so clearly see the world from post-phase?

We never could have gotten to where we are now without first having had the hands-on experience of what came before. 

That is why regrets are so defeating. 

Why regret the past when it is the very thing that opened our eyes to greater insight and understanding? 

Certainly pain exits in our history, and perhaps lingers still. But that hurt is eased by the recognition that it does have its benefits. 

We can always think about the “what if’s” and the “if only the world had different priorities.” 

But what if the “what ifs” have their own tribulations and weaknesses (as we know they do). We imagine them being “at least better” than the actual, but how do we know? 

I believe that train-of-thought is mere wishful thinking that defies the reality that whatever path we chose, it will get bumpy and we won’t like it one bit.

The same goes for the world—“if only it were different.”

That “different” would never be the “perfect” we imagine, because perfect is unattainable (one person’s “perfect” is another person’s less-than or far-from perfect. Aggregate human subjectivity never lets us get our way). 

We do the best in balancing logic, objectivity and subjectivity, along with making compromises and sacrifices that allow for the most growth and personal responsibility, within a stability that prioritizes a clear conscience and peace with God. 

Because it always comes down to that. God, our father,  will always be our meter. When we struggle—and sometimes it feels like forever—He is, when we let Him, continuously providing feedback. 

I think, as I ponder the years behind me, it is the hearing of His feedback and guidance, directly from Him—in undisturbed quiet—that has been what has moved me forward. 

And by undisturbed quiet I don’t even mean reading the Bible. 

I mean an inner accompaniment of God who is simply always right here, inside of me, in constancy and ever-present top-of-mindness. 

He is the imbued thought that carries me, separate from anyone or anything else, cut-off from corporate church, outward societal and familial expectations, and politics. 

He alone is the thinking that carries me.

Copyright Barb Harwood