“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm,
then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery”
(Galatians 5:1).
One of the ways, as an immature Christian, that I let myself
be “burdened again by a yoke of slavery” was, and sometimes still is, by being
drawn into someone else’s drama on their level, or creating a drama of my own.
Then one day—I don’t remember how or when—I experienced
God’s revelation of the problem: I was reacting
instead of responding.
Reacting, as I came to understand, acts first and thinks, if
at all, later. It causes or exacerbates disturbances.
Responding, on the other hand, thinks first; it ponders
(notice the word “respond” contains the first four letters of ponder?).
Responding prevents or dissipates conflict and disturbances.
When we react, we reveal, I believe, a
lack of quietness of heart, whereas when we respond we remain steadfast
in quietness of heart.
James 1:19b-22 says:
“But everyone must be
quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not
achieve the righteousness of God. Therefore, putting aside all filthiness and
all that remains of wickedness, in humility receive the word implanted, which
is able to save your souls. But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not
merely hearers who delude themselves.”
The clincher is this: while standing in the thick of things—a
temper tantrum (be it that of a child or adult); an hysterical accident victim;
a spiteful co-worker, relative or teacher; or discovering that someone has
gossiped about or misrepresented us or our cause—while standing on the
receiving end of whatever it is, we not only receive the turmoil, we receive
the “word implanted, which is able to save” us.
And it is this Word, which we are wise to become familiar
with, that in moments of crisis saves us from the sinful recoil which would prevent us from being doers of that very Word.
“A gentle answer turns away wrath,
But a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1
“A fool does not delight in understanding,
But only in revealing his own mind.” Proverbs 18:2
"He who guards his mouth and his tongue,
Guards his soul from troubles.” Proverbs 21:23
“When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable,
But he who restrains his lips is wise.” Proverbs 10:19
“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with
humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not
merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the
interests of others.” Philippians 2:3-4
And finally, lest we perceive that this calls for us to
condescend to or enable another person’s sin, or to check our Christian
discernment at the door, it does not.
“...we are no longer to be children, tossed here and there
by waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men,
by craftiness in deceitful scheming; but speaking the truth in love, we are to
grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ, from whom the
whole body, being fitted and held together by what every joint supplies,
according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of
the body for the building up of itself in love.
So this I say, and affirm together with the Lord, that you
walk no longer just as the Gentiles also walk, in the futility of their mind,
being darkened in their understanding, excluded from the life of God because of
the ignorance that is in them, because of the hardness of their heart; and
they, having become callous, have given themselves over to sensuality for the
practice of every kind of impurity with greediness. But you did not learn
Christ in this way, if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught in Him,
just as truth is in Jesus, that, in reference to your former manner of life, you
lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts
of deceit, and that you be renewed in the Spirit of your mind, and put on the
new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and
holiness of the truth.”
Therefore, laying aside falsehood, SPEAK TRUTH EACH ONE of
you WITH HIS NEIGHBOR, for we are members one of another. Be ANGRY, AND yet DO
NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an
opportunity...
Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only
such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so
that it will give grace to those who hear.” Ephesians 4:14-27; 29.
I included this long passage because our ability to react
will continue to predominate, I firmly believe, if we do not heed, internalize
and desire to live out all of what Ephesians prescribes.
Finally, in heeding this Word, the reward is that, not only
do we stand firm in Christ in our response to the sin around us by
lovingly not condoning it, we stand firm in Christ so that we, too, do not join
in that sin through fleshly or worldly reaction.
In this, we do not grieve the Holy Spirit within us. The
Ephesians verse continues:
“Do not grieve the
Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all
bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you,
along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each
other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:30-32).
Our change in worldview since becoming saved by Christ does give us discernment; it allows for
sound Christian judgment about morality, right and wrong, and priorities in
serving.
Yet first Corinthians 10:12-13 provides a caution within our
freedom:
“...let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not
fall. No temptation has overtaken you but such is common to man; and God is
faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but
with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be
able to endure it.”
We withstand becoming enablers and doormats to sin when we
do the following:
“Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who
are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking
to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted...For if anyone thinks he is
something when he is nothing, he deceives himself” (Galatians 6:1; 3).
Notice than in these two passages of Scripture, the only
manner in which we are to focus on our self is in the very denial
of self in lieu of Christ.
Yes, we are called to gently and patiently warn others of
their trespass, in order to, what? restore them! Not to badger them,
say “I told you so,” or to prove we are right and they are wrong.
Our purpose in conflict in which someone is caught in the
trap of sin—sin which may be manifesting simply as an inability to keep calm in
the moment due to emotions and immaturity—is to restore them, not to destroy
them so that we can “win.”
Jesus asks, in Matthew 16:26,
“For what will it
profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?”
We must soberly accept the truth of all of God’s Word. Though
He is “gracious and merciful; slow to anger, and great in lovingkindness” (Psalm
145:8),
and though his
“compassions never fail” and “are new every
morning” (Lamentations 3:22b-23a),
God also shows no partiality (Romans
2:11).
Therefore, we can be sure that God is impartial with the
entirety of His Word, holding out all of it in equal importance, so
that the hard truth is received and cherished by us as
fully as the easier truth.
And this is a hard truth:
“But I tell you that
every careless word that people speak, they shall give an accounting for it in
the day of judgment” (Matthew 12:36).
As harsh as this sounds (and I encourage us to, in personal study time, delve further
into what the above actually entails), I read Matthew 12:36 in sorrow at how
often I have been careless with my words, and how it hurt myself or others.
I am grateful I can repent, but I must acknowledge the sad
consequence of my past actions—the main consequence being the regret that I did
not have God’s Word written on my heart at the time I spoke rashly.
Hard teachings of God are there because He knows we live in a
hard world. We are continuously
threatened by the temptation to re-enter again the dead realm of darkness.
But the hard teachings of God only sound hard when we fail
them. They are life and light to us when we obey.
The first command of Jesus is to love the Lord our God, and
the second is like it, to love others as ourselves (Matthew 22:36-40; Luke
10:27).
There is a reason the command to love God comes first, and
it is this:
“Jesus replied, ‘Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching”
(John 14:23a).
Only when we first love Jesus will we be able to obey. Only
when we first love Jesus will we obey.
Only when we first love Jesus will we be able to love others as
our selves. And only when we first love Jesus will we love others as
our selves.
And only then will we be able to respond, to obey Christ, in
Christlikeness, and only then will we respond in Christlikeness.
We will be able to respond in love and no
longer react in hardness of heart.
We will be able.
But will we do it?
